The One That Got Away - Sabun (official name)

 Songfic.

‘Summer after high school When we first met.’

I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love.

My friends and I arrived at the festival to celebrate the summer in Queen Park. We looked forward to it.
"I’m going to get a drink!" I cried and nodded at the scolding that sold drinks and food.
“What can I get you?" a  guy with an cute accent said.
I looked straight into his piercing brown eyes that sparkled in the light.
“A Coke"
“What, that’s all? A Coke? “He said with a grin while he left his eyebrow.
“I’m not as wild as I look," I said, biting my lip.
I must admit, I didn’t look like a sweet and girly girl. I had a “hipster" like style and often wore short shorts, oversized t-shirts and leather jackets with Army boots. My hair was messy and um.. well you could say ugly.
“Oh really?" He said and laughed. “What is your name?"
“Sabrina, but everyone calls me Sab …"
“I’m going to call Sab, if I may?" He said and laughed.
“Sure you can, bartender!"
He laughed. “My name is Julian"
“Did I ask your name?" I said and put a lock of hair behind my ear.
He laughed again. I like him, I hardly know him, but I like him. Just because he seems to find everything hilarious.
“Sab, are you coming back or what?" I turned around and saw Grace, my best friend, walking towards me.
“Sorry Julian, my work calls," I said and winked.
“No problem Sab, it was nice talking to you" he said and grinned.
I grabbed my Coke and went to Grace.
“Flirting with the bartender?" Grace giggled.
“He’s cute!” I said and looked back, saw that he looked at me with a strange smile on his lips.

The festival came to his end and everyone went away. Everyone was huddled in the car, but I was still walking on the dirty grass of the park, because I was too tired to follow the group.
“Sab" I turned around and saw Julian a bit further away.
I smiled and stepped towards him.
“Are you leaving?"
I nodded.
“A friend of mine his holding this ‘after party thing’ at his place. Wanna join?”
“Are you crazy? It’s super late and I’m super tired! "
“Come on, act the way you dress babe!" He said laughing and took a sip from the jug of beer he was holding.
“If I can get home, I’m in”
“I have a car," he said and winked.
“Then why are we waiting?" I said and smiled .
“Good," he said and hit his arm around me.
We walked past the car where my friends were waiting for me.
I looked at Grace with a ‘I’m going somewhere with this hottie,  you guys can go' - look
She smiled and nodded approvingly.

It was very crowded, the music was too loud - probably because there is already a good dose of alcohol rustling through my veins - and I knew nobody.
Yeah okay Julian, but it’s not that I actually know him.
“Do you want something to drink? A coke perhaps? “He said teasingly.
“Funny!” I said and pushed him in the ribs. “I take what you take”
“Are you sure you can handle beer Sab?”
I stuck my tongue out at him and walked away.

It was late. Or early. I don’t even know. All I knew is that I was dancing and felt that the alcohol and the music took over my whole body. It was fantastic. Suddenly I felt two strong hands grab my waist.
“Wanna go home?" the horse, oh i mean Julian.
I nodded. He wove his fingers in mine and dragged me outside.

I didn’t know that my life had changed completely. Without really knowing him, without thinking about my future, I had already found the one.

"Used to steal your parents’ liquor and climb to the roof. Talk about our future, like we had a clue.  Never planned that one day, I’d be losing you."

I smiled at the memory. My parents didn’t like Julian, but I didn’t care. Every time he came to me, we stole the fancy liquor of my father and we sat on the roof of the old barn at the end of the street. We talked about everything for hours, just us two. Together. Everything seemed so innocent.


“Help me!” I screamed as I couldn’t get on the roof.
He laughed and pulled me up. I sighed with relief when I sat beside him, my arm around him while we drank the fancy liquor of my father from plastic cups.
“This is nice, sitting here with you" I said and smiled.
“Indeed," he whispered.
“What if I lose you?”
“don’t say that, because that’s not gonna happen! You will never leave my sight and I’m not leaving yours, remember? We’re going to see the world together, remember? And we don’t worry about the future! “He looked right into my eyes.
“I love you "
“And i love you " he said, pressing his soft lips on mine.

"In another life I would be your girl. We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world.”

Julian and I had that kind of relationship that many people didn’t understand. We fought more than we agreed. Our fights always were about small promises that we didn’t kept. But the same day, we always solved it. We were inseparable and together we could do everything. Nothing was impossible for us.

"You promised to come!" I said angrily.
"I’m sorry, but I didn’t have time!"
"That’s what you say every time! You can never keep your bloody promises Niall!”
"Look, I didn’t have time! I’m sorry, I was busy and I had football training!"
"What, too busy with flirting with other chickens?"
"You say that I never keep my promises, but look at yourself Sabrina!”
"I’m not doing anything!"
"You promised never to exaggerate like that and look at what you’re doing!"
"Sorry that I get easily jealous, mister perfect!”
"Just because I was talking to that girl you didn’t like at that party, you say I do it all the freaking time!’
"Julian" I stared hard at him, my eyes were cold.
Julian smiled gently, but the smile quickly turned into a grin.
I bit my lip to suppress my laughter.
Our discussions always ended in laughter.
"Come here you!" He said as he grabbed me and spun me around.
"Sorry," I said and kissed him.
"Promise me that you are never going to exaggerate like that again"
"Promise! If you promised to let me know if you can’t come, "
"Promise!"
"I love you, you know that?"
He nodded and gave me a kiss. “And I love you even more.”
“You and me against the world?”
“You and me against the world!”

 "It’s time to face the music, I’m no longer your muse."

Julian always wrote songs for me, he played them for me on his guitar and he all kept them in a box. Whenever I asked why he did that, his answer was: “Because you’re my muse, ma chérie". And then he gave me a kiss on my forehead. One day, I signed him up for The X-factor ,his voice was divine. I never thought he was going to make it this far.  Niall changed by the pressures of fame. Our relationship was different, we weren’t longer the carefree bunch of teenagers that we were back then.

I scrolled through my Google pictures dashboard and stopped when I saw a picture of a girl with brown hair and the ends of her hair were dyed dark blue. I turned my computer to Julian.
“Look, I think I’m going to dye my hair like that"
He looked up from his cell phone.
“No way," he said, shaking his head.
“Why not?"
“Because"
“Julian, you know well enough that that’s not a good reason. And besides, I’ve done it last year, but with pink. Remember?”
“It’s different now”
“Why?”
“When I go to some event, and you go with me and you arrive with that hairdo? People will think that you are…special …"
“What’s wrong with being special? I thought that’s what made us, us right?”
“Babe, there’s nothing wrong with that, but yeah, you understand what I mean. You can’t do it."
I stood up. “Don’t babe me!" I snapped and grabbed my bag.
“sab,"
“What Julian? Why do you care about what people think about me? If you are ashamed of me, I may as well lock myself in a room and never come out with you again!"
“Am I saying that?" He raises his voice.
I stared at my shoes.
“Sab, you know well enough that it would be weird to appear at a red carpet with some crazy hair color.”
“Well, I have a solution: you can go alone to that stupid red carpet!”
“dear, listen" He grabbed my arms.
“Let me go, jerk," I screamed and pushed him away.
“Calm down," he said, trying to hold me.
I took my bag and stormed out of his room. I heard his footsteps following me.
It was raining softly.
“Sabrina Angelina, come back," he cried.
“Fuck you Julian, fuck you and your stupid music" was the last thing I said to him.

"All this money can not buy me a time machine, It can not replace you with a million rings, I should have told you what you meant to me, ‘Cause now I paid the price."

If I could turn back time, oh god, then I would immediately do that. God knows how much I prayed, prayed that that night never happened, that everything was normal, that it was just a nightmare and that I was about to wake up in his arms. Or at least that I had the chance to say goodbye.

"Sabrina, I’ve now left 10 voicemails. I know well enough that you refuse my calls. Where are you? I’m driving around the city for the past 2 hours! Call me when you’re safe please, I’m worried to death. I love you."
"Hey Julian, it … I’m sorry. I’m home now. I’m so sorry, I exaggerated again. I’m freezing and my clothes are soaked, I’ve made hot chocolate and there is enough for us two. I’m sorry babe, I love you.”
I sighed. I had him called back 3 times already, still no answer.
An hour later, Julian didn’t call back.
I began to get nervous. Did something bad happened?
The bell rang. Excited I jumped from my bed and opened the door.
“Jul-Nicky? What are you doing here? “My facial expression changed from happy to worried right away.
Nicky eyes were red and he didn’t have the usual smile on his face.
“Sabrina," He swallowed, his voice sounded hoarse. “Julian is …" He could not finish the sentence, he burst into tears.
“What ? What’s wrong with Julian? "
My heart flipped over and my hands trembled like crazy.
“Nicky?"
“I’m sorry Sabrina," he whispered. He breathed deeply. “Julian got into a car accident. He drove too fast and slipped on a wet road and slammed … slammed against the barriers. He died…instantly”
I hit my hand over my mouth and shook my head.
“No, you’re lying. Tell me you are lying, Niall.. "
he looked at me and shook his head.
I fell on my knees and buried my face in my hands.
“Tell me this is just a nightmare. This can’t be true, no please. Please”


"In another life, I would make you stay. So I do not have to say, You were the One that got away. The One that got away. "

I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love. And 13 years ago I lost him. We had a fight and I ran away. He drove around for hours in his car, looking for me. He was so sweet for me. He was to good for me. I didn’t deserve him. If I didn’t overacted like that, that terrible accident wouldn’t have happened..
I rubbed my thumb over the photo I held in my hand. It was a picture of me and Julian, one of my favorite pictures. My hair was still black on the photo and the way I dressed was all hipster like.
Now, I wore my hair in a tight dot and had my  hair color is brunette. My clothes were professional and I was a housewife. Who would have thought that huh?
Yes, I was married. And I loved my husband. But deep down, deep deep down, I still loved Julian with whole my heart, with  my whole body, with my entire soul. And I will never love my husband as I loved Julian.
People say that you move on. But I didn’t. I think of him every day, from when I wake up till I go to sleep. I will never forgive myself. I will live forever with that gnawing guilt that it was my fault. It was my fault. I wiped away a tear and took a deep breath.
I’m sorry Julian. I love you. Please, never forget that.