Moments - Gracerik

Shut the door. Turn the lights off.
I get back from Grace's funeral. Everyone offers me a shoulder to cry on. But none of them understand. They don't get it.
I wanna be with you. I wanna feel your love.
I drove back to the burial grounds. I sat next to her grave. I just wanted her to come back. I wanted her here.
I wanna lay beside you. I cannot hide this. Even though I try.
I laid down next to her grave. I thought of all that we had been through. I wanted to just take a step back and be thankful for the time we had together. I felt selfish, wanting her back. But I needed her. I couldn't hide my feelings.
Heart beats harder. Time escapes me.
Its 1 o' clock. It had been 4 hours of me just lying there. It felt like barely any time.
Trembling hands touch skin. It makes this harder.
My friends comfort me. They are upset too. They try to make me forget all about it. It makes me guilty for what I am going to do
And the tears stream down my face.
I couldn't believe I lost her. I cried and cried and hoped for her return but I knew as well as everyone else, that the crying wouldn't bring her back. Nothing will at this point
If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time.
If I could be with her again, I'd make it count. I would've made sure she knew my feelings. Made sure I never want her to leave. Made sure she wouldn't have gotten in that car. Made sure she wouldn't have left this life/
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
Close the door. Throw the key. Don't wanna be reminded. Don't wanna be seen.
I arrive home with my friends. I lock myself in. I don't want to remember what happened. What I could've done. I don't want anyone to see me now, besides her.
Don't wanna be without you.
I look up at the sky. The stars are bright. Now I was talking to her. Telling her everything. She isn't listening. She is in a better place. But I can't live without her.
My judgement's clouded like tonight's sky
I didn't know what was going through my head. I just knew I couldn't live without her.
Hands are silent. Voice is numb. Try to scream out my lungs. It makes it harder. And the tears stream down my face.
No more trying to comfort me. The effort is gone. I'm screaming at the sky at this point. My throat hurting but I keep going. I cry harder with each word. Each cry for help. Each regret from my life.
If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time.
If I could be with her again, I'd make it count. I would've made sure she knew my feelings. Made sure I never want her to leave. Made sure she wouldn't have gotten in that car. Made sure she wouldn't have left this life/
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
Flashes left in my mind. Going back to the time. Playing games in the street. Kicking balls with my feet.
I stood closer and my life flashed before me. My memories with her. We were care-free and insane. We were happy and having fun. Little did we know, our fun would be interrupted by one moment in time, one mistake.
Dancing on with my toes. Standing close to the edge
I remember again our fun times. Our wonderful moments. I take another step, no regrets now.
There's a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed.
I tear off my shirt and throw it at the bed. The shirt was a gift from you. I get even closer to the ledge.
As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all.
I finally let go. Knowing I will be with her again.
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.

my guitar♡

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Princess of China - sabun

(his P.O.V)

Once upon a time somebody ran

Somebody ran away saying 'fast as I can I got to go, I got to go'

I sat and I watched her. sabrina andx I were eatting dinner, in this big lovely mansion. Just me and her. Alone. There was no conversation, because there was nothing to say. Ever since that night, things just haven't been the same. I made a mistake, but I dont regret it. Maybe getting married isn't the best idea. But I love her, don't I? I look at her face. She was purposely advoiding direct eye contact with me. Again. Another night of prancing around each other, without saying anything. I can't live like this I got to go. This isn't healthy for me. For her. For us.

Once upon a time we fell apart

You're holding in your hands the two halves of my heart

Oh oh oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

As I watched her push her food around her plate, I remember that day. The day I caused this. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair as I began to rememeber.

After a hard day at work, Sabrina and I began arguing over Aoi. Aoi is and always will be my best friend. She has always been there for me. We have been friends since we were kids. I watched her grow up to be this lovely woman, but she's just a friend. Sabrina doesn't like that. Some harshful words were said and things were thrown, but nothing hurt worst when Sabrina said ' julian you need to choose me or her'. I just stared at her with glassy eyes. I watched as tears fell from her brown eyes and down her mocha skin. I was about to hurt her. I grabbed my black leather jacket and the keys to my porshe. 'If you walk out that door than I know who you're really choosing!'. I opened the door, and looked back at Sabrina one last time. She was sitting at the bottom of the spiral stairs. Her hair hung loosley around her, framing her face and continuing to flow down her shoulders. Tear stained her aqua blue blouse, and I dared to look into her blood shot eyes. They were full of sorrow. I looked foward towards my car. 'I'm sorry'. That was all I said before closing the door behind me leaving a broken Sabrina.

I sat up and looked at her sitting across from me at the dinner table. She was still avoiding my eyes. I can't take it anymore! I dont know why I came back. Maybe I should leave and this time for good. She doesn't want me here, does she even love me? I can't play house anymore, if this is real then she needs to let me know now ! 'Do you love me?'. My question pierced the deadly silence we were sitting in. Courtney just looked at me with hurt eyes.

---

(sabrina's P.O.V)

Once upon a time we burned bright

Now all we ever seem to do is fight

On and on, and on and on and on

I couldn't eat with him starring at me with those piercing brown eyes. I couldn't help but remeber all our memories. The day I first met him, our first date, the day we moved in together, the day her proposed and the day her broke my heart. Our relationship has been a rollcoaster, all because of his best friend Aoi. I dont trust him around her. I have seen the way he looks at her. It different from the way he look at me. Does he love her? Does he love me? I mean we argue over Aoi alot, but our last argument about her really hurt. I set down my fork as I forced myslef to remember.

'julian if you walk out that door than I know who your're really choosing' I yelled as julian opened the door. He looked back at me. I starred into his brown eyes, hoping that he woud turn around scoop me into his arms and make things right. Instead he apoligized and left. I was broken, but this whole time I knew. He loved Aoi. I didn't wait by the phone for him to call or stare out the window until he came back. I was done with Julian, because I knew the truth. I took my engagment ring off,set it on the fireplace and went to bed.

Once upon a time on the same side

Once upon a time on the same side in the same game

Now why d'you have to go

 Have to go and throw water on my flame?

He left me. He doesn't love me. Why is he here? Why did he do this to us ? These questions just continued to flood my head. I picked up my fork and actually took small bites of the dinner I made. I blinked and tears fell down onto the mahogony table. I quickly wiped them up before Julian could notice. Why has he done this to me? To us?

I could have been a princess, you'd be a king

Could have had a castle and worn a ring

But no ,you let me go

Julian and I were going to get married in May. Yes, I've always wanted a spring wedding. I was getting my dress custom made and everything. The plans for the wedding were going farily quickly since it was April. I was going to get married soon. I though I had everything. A husband that loved me as equally as I loved him, the house of my dreams and beautiful children. But no. He wanted Aoi. I was not getting my spring wedding, a loving husband, the house of my dreams or beautiful children. All because he loved her.

I could have been a princess, you'd be a king

Could have had a castle and worn a ring

But no,you let me go

Sometimes I can't help but think about the life I could have if he chose me. I continued to push my food around on the plate. He hasn't noticed that I haven't been wearing my engagment ring. I wasn't putting it back on. It had no meaning, no significance. So why pretend to play house, when obviously his heart isn't with me. 'Do you love me?' The first words Julian has asked me since he came back. I looked at him with hurt eyes.

---

(No One's P.O.V)

You stole my star

La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la

You stole my star La-la-la-la-la-la-la

"Of course I love you" Sabrina replied to his foolish question. "Then why are you not wearing your ring?". Julian watched her with cold eyes. "Because it has no significance, you dont love me Julian. You love Aoi" She was struggling to keep her voice under control she didn't want to burst into tears again infront of him. The two stared at each other. "I gave you everything. My heart, my soul, my trust! You tried, but you couldn't because you loved someone else" sabrina couldn't keep it in any longer. "I don't love her" he replied in a calm, leveled voice. "YES YOU DO, when you walked out that door! that's the message you sent me. Because if you really cared you would not have left". sabrina was now crying as she spoke.

he couldn't say anything, because she was right. he loved Aoi.

'Cause you really hurt me, no you really hurt me

'Cause you really hurt me, no you really hurt me'

He stood up from the table. Before he left Sabrina had to tell him how she felt."You really hurt me!", he turned back and looked at Sabrina's eyes. They were full of hatred. "It hurts to know that the man that you love, loves someone else and you dont say that you don't  Julian. The way you watch her with admiring eyes, you have NEVER looked at me like that. I cant compete with her. I never have been able to! So why ? WHY WOULD YOU PORPOSE IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT?" her voice was full of complete rage. "I DID LOVE YOU BUT YOU PUSHED ME AWAY AND THAT HURT ME!". "I least I came home to you every night! Those nights when you were 'at the office', I knew you were at Aoi' s house. That's why I changed, I know all about your affair with her !" Sabrina's words continued to ring in his ears. 'She knew, all this time she knew' he thought. He felt so ashamed."When were you going to tell me?" Tears were now flowing from her face. Now he was avoiding her eyes.

'Cause you really hurt me,

oh you really hurt me, Oh-ooh-ooh

'Cause you really hurt me,

You really hurt me

she stood up from the table and walked over the the fireplace to grab the ring. he felt as if someone knocked the wind out of him. He had really hurt her. she walked back over to him and looked directly into his eyes. "The wedding is off because you hurt me too much. Certain things I can put up with, but this I cant." Sabrina no longer had tears in her eyes, she looked confident and sure of the words that were coming out of her mouth. However, Julian just looked out her confused. she walked up stairs and grabbed her bags that she packed earlier. "Where are you going?" he didn't want her to leave, he did still love her. Didn't he?. she opened the door and looked back at  him for the last time. She look at his jet-black hair that was slicked back, and then into his glassy brown eyes that were begging her to stay. " Aoi's yours, and you're the lover . Congratulations". she tossed the ring over her shoulder and left. Julian caught the ring and stared at the door that Sabrina just walked out of.

7 Things -- Nice

It goes his POV her PoV then both kind of general POV. plus some flashbacks
 
Sha Sha Sha. I probably shouldn't say this but at times I get so scared. When I think about the previous relationship we shared.

The boy often thought of his secret girl on the bus to school. Her memory gave him comfort in these dark times. If he was born in another family he might even admit he wished to be a 8-3 as well. But he was a blue-blooded so he and his girlfriend, excuse that thought EX-girlfriend, had to remain enemies to the public. And though they were broken up, nobody could ever know about their little affair.

 It was awesome but we lost it it's not possible for me not to care. And now we're standing in the rain but nothings ever gonna change until you hear, my dear.
I sighed as I exited the bus. It was pouring out. Why had I not noticed this looking out the window? Maybe because I was so lost in my thoughts about her. Damn! I must be seeing things. She's here, it has to be her. No one else has that bushy brown hair. But of course she's here idiot this is her school as much as it is yours. Oh crap. She turned around. Maybe I can walk away?
No she's coming over here. Curses.
"Nicky, didn't think you'd be back." Damn that sweet voice. Too bad those are fighting means she wants me to talk to her.
"And what's that suppossed to mean timothy? I'm still school age. Of course I would still be coming here"
"Well I just figured you'd have been thrown into jail with your loser father." she said icily.
My face turned bright red. Of course HE would come into the conversation.
"How dare you talk about my father you bitch"
She sighed. Why would she sigh?
"You just don't get it what I'm saying." Of course I don't! She doesn't make sense!

The seven things I hate about you! Oh You! Your vain, your games, you're insecure.

(The year before, in his class)
"Nicky ! You look fine! Stop looking in the bloody mirror already"
"I can't help it babe! I need to make sure I look good for my fellow guys"
"Well you can stop because you look very handsome"
"Oh stop playing with me"
"I'm not playing with you"
"Oh we both know that you are. Now how's my hair"
"It's hideous"
"Shit are you serious!" And with that he ran off to the bathroom or the third time in less than twelve minutes. Grace sighed and left the room through the secret passage way.

You love me you like her!

"Nicky"
"What"
"I know we're not 'technically' going out but could you at least keep your eyes in your head"
"Sorry Grace."Nicky apologized sheepishly.

You made me laugh you made me cry I don't know which side to buy. Your friends they're jerks and when you act like them just know it hurts! I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do! You make me love you.

"I hate that I love you." he told me grinning.
"I know. Now let's see if we can tackle your History lesson assignment before it's too late."

 It's awkward and it's silent.

(Present time)
"Nicky, you'll be paired with Ms.Timothy"
"Sir you must be joking"
"I don't joke Nicky."
 Great, just great.

As I wait for you to I need to hear now. Your sincere apology.
"Nicky"
"Pass the sulphur will you bitch"
"Nicky"
"I don't want to talk bitch. Just hand me the sulphur"
"Well I DO want to talk nicky"
"Ms.timothy! That'll be a detention for you for shouting in my classroom"
"But she didn't do anything!" Adrian yelled trying to defend her.
"No lip Jingga or I will deduct your score"
The room stayed quiet. Some people we're still processing what Grace had said.
Nicky muttered under his breath,"What do want"
"A sincere apology"
They didn't speak for the rest of the class period.

When you mean it I'll believe it if you text it I'll delete it let's be clear. Well I'm not coming back. You're taking seven steps here. The 7 things I hate about you!

After class Nicky met up with her in the hall. "Hey Grace? I'm sorry. I truly am"
"I believe you Nicky"
"Friends? Secretly of course"
"No Nicky. I'm not coming back." She hid her smile walking away. She loved this game!

Your vain, your games, you love me you like her. You made me laugh, you made me cry I don't know which side to buy!

(The previous year)
He tickled her. He couldn't help distracting her from their many homework piles. She was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.
"Gosh Grace! You need to put some meat on your bones! Your ribs keep sticking me"
She still had tears in her eyes, but they were not of laughter anymore.

Your friends they're jerks and when you act like them just know it hurts!

She was just sitting with Sabrina and Julian when a bunch of my friends walked up.
"Hey bitch! Planning on making more dirty  brats with these two traitors?"
"Yeah, whose first"
 Julian and Tanady began dueling it out. Nicky walked up.
"Hey Grace? Does the winner get to claim you or is it gonna be rock, paper, scissors after this"
"Shut your mouth Nicky"
"Ooo! Touchy."

I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do! You make me love you. I've been through all the great things that would take too long to write. I probably should mention the seven that I like. The seven things I like about you! Your hair, your eyes, your old levis.

(Present time)
"Grace?" Julian looked at her concerned.
"Yes ?"
"You've hardly touched your you keep looking off into the distance"
"Guess I'm just thinking." About that silky black hair and those bright brown eyes. Though Nicky could never know that.

And when we kiss I'm hyptnotized. You made me laugh, you made me cry but I guess that's both I'll have to buy. Your hand in mine when we're intertwined everything's alright.

They were under an old oak. Hidden away in the dark woods. They wouldn't be found but the thought that they could be was thrilling. As they pulled away they looked into each others eyes. She loved him. She always would. This was their moment forever. But what was that beebing in the distance?
She woke with a start. Damn! She hated dreaming about past memories that still felt so real.

I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I like the most that you do.
You make me love you.
Sha. Sha. Sha.

Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original
'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample
And I can't help but stare, 'cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now (please show me, baby)
I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

You are, you are the love of my life [x10]

Now you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are, you are the love of my life [x8]

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life [x16]

The One That Got Away - Sabun (official name)

 Songfic.

‘Summer after high school When we first met.’

I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love.

My friends and I arrived at the festival to celebrate the summer in Queen Park. We looked forward to it.
"I’m going to get a drink!" I cried and nodded at the scolding that sold drinks and food.
“What can I get you?" a  guy with an cute accent said.
I looked straight into his piercing brown eyes that sparkled in the light.
“A Coke"
“What, that’s all? A Coke? “He said with a grin while he left his eyebrow.
“I’m not as wild as I look," I said, biting my lip.
I must admit, I didn’t look like a sweet and girly girl. I had a “hipster" like style and often wore short shorts, oversized t-shirts and leather jackets with Army boots. My hair was messy and um.. well you could say ugly.
“Oh really?" He said and laughed. “What is your name?"
“Sabrina, but everyone calls me Sab …"
“I’m going to call Sab, if I may?" He said and laughed.
“Sure you can, bartender!"
He laughed. “My name is Julian"
“Did I ask your name?" I said and put a lock of hair behind my ear.
He laughed again. I like him, I hardly know him, but I like him. Just because he seems to find everything hilarious.
“Sab, are you coming back or what?" I turned around and saw Grace, my best friend, walking towards me.
“Sorry Julian, my work calls," I said and winked.
“No problem Sab, it was nice talking to you" he said and grinned.
I grabbed my Coke and went to Grace.
“Flirting with the bartender?" Grace giggled.
“He’s cute!” I said and looked back, saw that he looked at me with a strange smile on his lips.

The festival came to his end and everyone went away. Everyone was huddled in the car, but I was still walking on the dirty grass of the park, because I was too tired to follow the group.
“Sab" I turned around and saw Julian a bit further away.
I smiled and stepped towards him.
“Are you leaving?"
I nodded.
“A friend of mine his holding this ‘after party thing’ at his place. Wanna join?”
“Are you crazy? It’s super late and I’m super tired! "
“Come on, act the way you dress babe!" He said laughing and took a sip from the jug of beer he was holding.
“If I can get home, I’m in”
“I have a car," he said and winked.
“Then why are we waiting?" I said and smiled .
“Good," he said and hit his arm around me.
We walked past the car where my friends were waiting for me.
I looked at Grace with a ‘I’m going somewhere with this hottie,  you guys can go' - look
She smiled and nodded approvingly.

It was very crowded, the music was too loud - probably because there is already a good dose of alcohol rustling through my veins - and I knew nobody.
Yeah okay Julian, but it’s not that I actually know him.
“Do you want something to drink? A coke perhaps? “He said teasingly.
“Funny!” I said and pushed him in the ribs. “I take what you take”
“Are you sure you can handle beer Sab?”
I stuck my tongue out at him and walked away.

It was late. Or early. I don’t even know. All I knew is that I was dancing and felt that the alcohol and the music took over my whole body. It was fantastic. Suddenly I felt two strong hands grab my waist.
“Wanna go home?" the horse, oh i mean Julian.
I nodded. He wove his fingers in mine and dragged me outside.

I didn’t know that my life had changed completely. Without really knowing him, without thinking about my future, I had already found the one.

"Used to steal your parents’ liquor and climb to the roof. Talk about our future, like we had a clue.  Never planned that one day, I’d be losing you."

I smiled at the memory. My parents didn’t like Julian, but I didn’t care. Every time he came to me, we stole the fancy liquor of my father and we sat on the roof of the old barn at the end of the street. We talked about everything for hours, just us two. Together. Everything seemed so innocent.


“Help me!” I screamed as I couldn’t get on the roof.
He laughed and pulled me up. I sighed with relief when I sat beside him, my arm around him while we drank the fancy liquor of my father from plastic cups.
“This is nice, sitting here with you" I said and smiled.
“Indeed," he whispered.
“What if I lose you?”
“don’t say that, because that’s not gonna happen! You will never leave my sight and I’m not leaving yours, remember? We’re going to see the world together, remember? And we don’t worry about the future! “He looked right into my eyes.
“I love you "
“And i love you " he said, pressing his soft lips on mine.

"In another life I would be your girl. We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world.”

Julian and I had that kind of relationship that many people didn’t understand. We fought more than we agreed. Our fights always were about small promises that we didn’t kept. But the same day, we always solved it. We were inseparable and together we could do everything. Nothing was impossible for us.

"You promised to come!" I said angrily.
"I’m sorry, but I didn’t have time!"
"That’s what you say every time! You can never keep your bloody promises Niall!”
"Look, I didn’t have time! I’m sorry, I was busy and I had football training!"
"What, too busy with flirting with other chickens?"
"You say that I never keep my promises, but look at yourself Sabrina!”
"I’m not doing anything!"
"You promised never to exaggerate like that and look at what you’re doing!"
"Sorry that I get easily jealous, mister perfect!”
"Just because I was talking to that girl you didn’t like at that party, you say I do it all the freaking time!’
"Julian" I stared hard at him, my eyes were cold.
Julian smiled gently, but the smile quickly turned into a grin.
I bit my lip to suppress my laughter.
Our discussions always ended in laughter.
"Come here you!" He said as he grabbed me and spun me around.
"Sorry," I said and kissed him.
"Promise me that you are never going to exaggerate like that again"
"Promise! If you promised to let me know if you can’t come, "
"Promise!"
"I love you, you know that?"
He nodded and gave me a kiss. “And I love you even more.”
“You and me against the world?”
“You and me against the world!”

 "It’s time to face the music, I’m no longer your muse."

Julian always wrote songs for me, he played them for me on his guitar and he all kept them in a box. Whenever I asked why he did that, his answer was: “Because you’re my muse, ma chérie". And then he gave me a kiss on my forehead. One day, I signed him up for The X-factor ,his voice was divine. I never thought he was going to make it this far.  Niall changed by the pressures of fame. Our relationship was different, we weren’t longer the carefree bunch of teenagers that we were back then.

I scrolled through my Google pictures dashboard and stopped when I saw a picture of a girl with brown hair and the ends of her hair were dyed dark blue. I turned my computer to Julian.
“Look, I think I’m going to dye my hair like that"
He looked up from his cell phone.
“No way," he said, shaking his head.
“Why not?"
“Because"
“Julian, you know well enough that that’s not a good reason. And besides, I’ve done it last year, but with pink. Remember?”
“It’s different now”
“Why?”
“When I go to some event, and you go with me and you arrive with that hairdo? People will think that you are…special …"
“What’s wrong with being special? I thought that’s what made us, us right?”
“Babe, there’s nothing wrong with that, but yeah, you understand what I mean. You can’t do it."
I stood up. “Don’t babe me!" I snapped and grabbed my bag.
“sab,"
“What Julian? Why do you care about what people think about me? If you are ashamed of me, I may as well lock myself in a room and never come out with you again!"
“Am I saying that?" He raises his voice.
I stared at my shoes.
“Sab, you know well enough that it would be weird to appear at a red carpet with some crazy hair color.”
“Well, I have a solution: you can go alone to that stupid red carpet!”
“dear, listen" He grabbed my arms.
“Let me go, jerk," I screamed and pushed him away.
“Calm down," he said, trying to hold me.
I took my bag and stormed out of his room. I heard his footsteps following me.
It was raining softly.
“Sabrina Angelina, come back," he cried.
“Fuck you Julian, fuck you and your stupid music" was the last thing I said to him.

"All this money can not buy me a time machine, It can not replace you with a million rings, I should have told you what you meant to me, ‘Cause now I paid the price."

If I could turn back time, oh god, then I would immediately do that. God knows how much I prayed, prayed that that night never happened, that everything was normal, that it was just a nightmare and that I was about to wake up in his arms. Or at least that I had the chance to say goodbye.

"Sabrina, I’ve now left 10 voicemails. I know well enough that you refuse my calls. Where are you? I’m driving around the city for the past 2 hours! Call me when you’re safe please, I’m worried to death. I love you."
"Hey Julian, it … I’m sorry. I’m home now. I’m so sorry, I exaggerated again. I’m freezing and my clothes are soaked, I’ve made hot chocolate and there is enough for us two. I’m sorry babe, I love you.”
I sighed. I had him called back 3 times already, still no answer.
An hour later, Julian didn’t call back.
I began to get nervous. Did something bad happened?
The bell rang. Excited I jumped from my bed and opened the door.
“Jul-Nicky? What are you doing here? “My facial expression changed from happy to worried right away.
Nicky eyes were red and he didn’t have the usual smile on his face.
“Sabrina," He swallowed, his voice sounded hoarse. “Julian is …" He could not finish the sentence, he burst into tears.
“What ? What’s wrong with Julian? "
My heart flipped over and my hands trembled like crazy.
“Nicky?"
“I’m sorry Sabrina," he whispered. He breathed deeply. “Julian got into a car accident. He drove too fast and slipped on a wet road and slammed … slammed against the barriers. He died…instantly”
I hit my hand over my mouth and shook my head.
“No, you’re lying. Tell me you are lying, Niall.. "
he looked at me and shook his head.
I fell on my knees and buried my face in my hands.
“Tell me this is just a nightmare. This can’t be true, no please. Please”


"In another life, I would make you stay. So I do not have to say, You were the One that got away. The One that got away. "

I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love. And 13 years ago I lost him. We had a fight and I ran away. He drove around for hours in his car, looking for me. He was so sweet for me. He was to good for me. I didn’t deserve him. If I didn’t overacted like that, that terrible accident wouldn’t have happened..
I rubbed my thumb over the photo I held in my hand. It was a picture of me and Julian, one of my favorite pictures. My hair was still black on the photo and the way I dressed was all hipster like.
Now, I wore my hair in a tight dot and had my  hair color is brunette. My clothes were professional and I was a housewife. Who would have thought that huh?
Yes, I was married. And I loved my husband. But deep down, deep deep down, I still loved Julian with whole my heart, with  my whole body, with my entire soul. And I will never love my husband as I loved Julian.
People say that you move on. But I didn’t. I think of him every day, from when I wake up till I go to sleep. I will never forgive myself. I will live forever with that gnawing guilt that it was my fault. It was my fault. I wiped away a tear and took a deep breath.
I’m sorry Julian. I love you. Please, never forget that. 

Stay With Me - gracerik

The italicized parts are flashbacks.

It’s been a year. He’s been in prison for a year. That means it’s been almost two since his world changed. He still beats himself up over what happened. She said it wasn’t his fault, so why does he feel like it is? He thinks he could have stopped him, could have saved her. Punching his fist into the wall, he gives up. There’s nothing he can do. He wants so badly to wake up from this nightmare. He won’t though, it’s real. It’s all too real. Walking over to his bed which was more of a cot, he tried to clear his mind as he laid down. He’ll never clear his mind though. What happened will haunt him forever, and he won’t be able to escape it.
They had been dating for almost three years. They had talked about marriage and kids and their future together. He was going to propose the next week but he didn’t have a chance.

The sound of a gun shot rang out as he looked around, glad to be alive and not hurt, but he wasn’t in the clear yet. He saw the man run away but he figured the police would find him soon enough.

He thinks of the dinner he had planned for that night. They went to a fancy restaurant where the meals were too small and too expensive. That didn’t matter to them though. They laughed and made jokes and smiled the whole night. He told her how much she meant to her that night.

A hand grabbed at his arm, as she gasped for air. 
 "No, no, no. Don’t joke around, right now, not now." 
That’s all he could say, he thought she was okay, this was just a joke. She wasn’t really hurt.
"Erik.." 
She sounded weak. Her voice was shaky and she was trying her best to stay standing but her knees were wobbling and he vision was hazy. 
"NO, no.. This isn’t happening.. " he whispered as she sank into his arms.
Blood was staining her shirt. Kneeling down, the love of his life lays in his arms. 
"Erik.. I don’t want to.. I don’t want to die..I’m not ready to go.." she mumbles as tears begin to fall slowly down her face.
"I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry I should have been in front of you, I shoud’ve-"
"No.. Erik.. You didn’t know.. It’s not your fault.. no.."
"It is, it is. You can’t leave me, please don’t. You’re going to be okay, this isn’t your time, you’re not leaving me.." 
His voice is cracking and he’s trying his best not to break down. He wants to be strong for her. He doesn’t want her last memory of him to be him crying.
"Kiss it all better.. I’m not ready to go.. It’s not your fault, it’s not.. You.. you didn’t know.." 
Her voice is getting softer and her breathing is slower. 
"No, no, no.. Please stay with me.."
"I.. I love you.. Erik..."
Her eyes seem empty. The brightness that would shine through them is gone. Her pulse is gone. Her chest stopped slowly rising up and down. She’s gone. 
The sound of sirens are heard and a few people have started a sort of circle around them. He sobs and after a minute or two, he sees something. It shines in the moonlight. A gun. The gun that just changed everything for him.
"I love you so much, you’ll never leave my mind. I love you, I love you." 
Quickly, he pulls out the engagement ring he had bought for her, he always carried it around just incase the time felt right. Opening the box, he picks up the ring and slides it onto her cold finger and kisses her forehead.
Gently, he crumbles up his jacket and makes a pillow for her and lays her head on it. 
He grabs the gun and runs. 

Now he sits behind prison bars, 25 to life, and she’s not in his arms. He couldn’t bring her back with a bullet to the heart of the man who turned his world apart.
The memory is engraved in his mind. It haunts him. It tortures him. He thinks he could have saved her, but it was too late.
He cries again, just like every night. Grasping his flimsy pillow, he cries out to her in the hopes that she’s listening.
"Stay with me, until I fall asleep. Stay with me. I miss you.. I need you back.. This is just a nightmare.. I’ll wake up and it will be tomorrow and we will be together and happy.. I can’t do this.. I need you.. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.."
Drifting to sleep, he hears her voice.
"It’s not your fault, Erik. It’s not. Don’t blame yourself.. It hurts me to think you could have changed what happened, it’s not your fault. Please don’t do this to yourself. I love you so much, Moviehead."
Her face appears in his dreams and he can’t see anything but her saying “Kiss it all better.. I’m not ready to go.. It’s not your fault."
Mumbling, he says “Stay with me, until I fall asleep.. Stay with me, Grace.."

me: Remember, Billie Joe Armstrong is in Green Day. *clicks start in ipod quiz* First Question: Billie Joe Armstrong is from what band? #die

— iGraceTimothy (@iGraceTimothy) June 27, 2013

Fake friends: pic.twitter.com/fi8anteeaa

— Facts Of School™ (@FactsOfSchool) June 18, 2013

keep your head high and your middle finger higher.

— ¿JessicaBoji? (@iCaliforniaJess) May 28, 2013

#MentionTo your friend who's on diet.

— Mention To (@MentionTo) July 7, 2013

together forever - sabun(?) #okesip

“Just.. Just leave me alone.   I’ve heard enough of your excuses.  Don’t call me.  Don’t text me.  Ever.  Again” I spoke as calmly as possible as I watched Julian crumple in front of me.  

“I never meant to hurt you..” I heard him whimpered from behind his mop of hair.   

“And what exactly made you think cheating on me wouldn’t hurt me, huh?” 

He fell silence & I took that as an invitation to leave his apartment.  I felt the tears I had been withholding fall down my face as I heard him silently sobbing into his couch.  It was his loss.  He deserved what I had dished out at him & nothing he said now could help.  We had been dating for 1 1/2 years now & I had caught him with some girls.  I was at my car now & I could barely catch my breath, the tears were streaming down my face so violently.  I was going in hysterics, it had taken me at least 10 tries to push the keys into the ignition I was shaking to terribly.  

When I finally got home, I ran to my room & spent the rest of my night crying myself to sleep, hoping that God would give me mercy.  I shut off my phone, turned off my computer & locked my door.  

I was awoken the next morning by a group of police men at my door.  My groggy mind took a moment to register the situation they were explaining to me with sorrow faces.  

“.. we found him in his bathroom, clutching a picture of you for dear life with a small note attached.” They looked down for a minute while they pulled the small crumpled paper out for me to see.  

 

You’re right.  You deserve better.  What I did to you was unthinkable & I know you’re a smart girl, you know better than to get back with me.  After you didn’t answer my calls it became clear to me that I would never be able to move on.  “Because nothing feels like home, you’re a thousand miles away & the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay.”

I love you forever & always.  

-Julian

I looked up into the police officers eyes as I felt myself lose control & collapse on my front door step.  Sobbing, begging, pleading for this to all be a stupid joke.  The officers took a deep sigh & gave me a soft shake of the head.  

“I’m sorry for your lose.  Truly, I am sorry” They spoke as kind as their voices would allow before turning on their heels & heading back towards their cars. 

“NO.  No.  It was only a stupid fight.  He’s still back on his couch.  Waiting for me to come back & let myself back into his arms.  No.  You’re lying.  NO.” I began to choke  on the words as they tried to escape my mouth.  I sat for what seemed like an eternity on my front doorstep, clutching the necklace he had given me for our one year anniversary.  I lifted my head slowly remembering a part of the letter he had written me.  “After you didn’t answer my calls”.  I crawled to my phone as fast as my weak body would allow & pressed the voice mail button.  

I lost the little control I had over my body as I heard his broken voice before he left me one last time.  

“By the time you hear this, I guess I won’t really be around.  Oh god.  I don’t know what to say.  I’m so sorry.  I won’t ever be able to forgive myself, even if you ever did.  I can’t .. I can’t live with myself.” he broke into sobs the line ran dead.  My shaking hand dropped the phone onto the cool tile floor while I gathered the strength to pull my body off the kitchen floor.  I stumbled towards my bathroom & scrambled to open the razor box i saw, scars and scars appeared,  I felt the life draining from my body.  

“I love you forever & always. Without you I’ll be miserable at best” 

My eyes rolled back & I counted down my heartbeats before I could see him again.  

Author's note: tragis bgt, masa dua"nya bunuh diri .__. #aishh

Happy Birthday To Me - Sabulian(?) (not so sad, but sad)

Twinkling lights littered the ballroom ceiling, casting a glittering look about the room. People moved back and forth chattering happily and laughing, seeming to glow from the soft lights. I smiled to myself; I was happy that everyone seemed to be having a good time and marveling at how beautiful the room was. I had planned a small birthday party, a little get together, and a group of my friends had turned it into a big fancy party, forcing me to wear a pretty dress and make sure I looked presentable. That’s when I knew my plans had been hijacked.

I glanced anxiously around the room, silently taking everyone in. I scanned the many groups of people to make sure I hadn’t missed him somewhere in the crowd. Maybe he was here and was looking for me. I circulated the room. I was happy so many people had shown up to honor me, but there was only one person I wanted to see right now. Julian.

My nerves were on edge about seeing him tonight. We had been together for the last couple years but we’d been going through a really bad rough patch the last six months and I couldn’t say why. We hadn’t been talking lately and when we did, we were arguing over everything. He had promised me this morning though that he would be here and I clung onto that. Maybe after tonight things would go back to normal. Maybe after tonight we would be okay. That was all I wanted for my birthday. For us to be okay. I glanced at the clock for what seemed to be the millionth time tonight, chewing my lower lip and only as a passing thought did I think that doing this might get lipstick on my teeth. I didn’t care right now though, I just wanted him.

This time when I looked at the clock, butterflies erupted violently. I realized he should be here any minute. He said he’d be here at 8:30 pm and it was now 8:25 pm. I looked at the door, expecting him to burst through at any moment. I felt rooted to the spot, waiting with baited breath. It was as if my world went into slow motion waiting for the doors to fly open and for him to be grinning cheekily at me. He’d told me he had a few things to do before the party and I had said I’d understood. It was fine if he was a little late. It was understandable. He was an international soccer player; of course he had things to do on his time off. As long as he showed up, I didn’t care. The rest of the boys had shown up and I had chosen to ignore their slightly raised eyebrows and not-so-subtle glances at each other when I mentioned he was going to be late.

People kept asking me when we were going to cut the cake but I kept putting them off, insisting on waiting for him. I didn’t want to do it without him. He said he’d be here. I did my best to silence the voice whispering that I knew how this was going to end.

My arm is jerked aside and I’m brought out of my thoughts as my best friend Penn, Grace grabs me, squealing and laughing as she runs behind me and uses me as a shield. Her boyfriend Erik quickly emerges between people in the crowd obviously having been chasing her.

“You can’t do anything to me, Sabrina is base!” She laughs hysterically.

“Bullshit! That’s no fair!” he pants. He is understandably out of breath. She wraps her arms around my waist and sticks her tongue out at him playfully. I giggle and give him a shrug and an apologetic look before hugging her back. We chat for a bit about random things and I get caught up in talking to them.

“So how’s the boyfrieeeeeeend?” Grace asks. I blush and look at the floor before looking back up at her.

“He’s doing really well! Just got back from the world tour, so you know, relaxing and enjoying the time off.”

“Where is the shit-faced boy anyway? I’m assuming somewhere around here mingling with us lesser beings?” Duke asked. He didn’t hide his dislike for my boyfriend particularly well. Grace gave him a stern look and he glanced away pretending not to notice.

“No, actually…” I glanced back at the clock. It seemed we had been talking for longer than I thought. It was after 9 pm. “Actually he should be here…” I looked around the room and still did not see him. “I’m going to go see if I can find him.” She nodded enthusiastically.

“Of course! I’m sure he’s just getting a drink or something.”

“Yeah, of course,” I agreed half-heartedly. Part of me was telling me she was right, that he’d been here and just got caught talking to people. But then the voice came back, telling me he wasn’t here. That he hadn’t shown up at all. That he wasn’t going to show up. You know how this is going to end.

I quickly scanned the crowd and caught sight of the other boys. I approached them and when I did, Reza opened his arms up to me. I went into them quickly, giving him and the others hugs.

“When are we going to eat cake? I’m hungry!” Reza whined.

“Ni, you’re always hungry.” Nicky pointed out. Reza looked like he was going to protest and then decided better of it and nodded.

“Have you guys seen Julian? I can’t seem to find him. I don’t want to cut the cake without him and he should be here by now.” They quietly said they hadn’t seen him yet. “Well, will you help me look around? I don’t want to do it without him.” They agreed to help me and we each set off around the place. I took my phone out while searching the ballroom one last time and then a few adjoining rooms. I tried calling him but his phone went to voicemail after ringing forever. I huffed and headed towards the kitchen in the building, thinking for some reason he might’ve been in there. No surprise, I found Reza instead. We looked a bit longer and then went back into the ballroom.

I entered the room with the four boys behind me. When I walked through the entrance everyone’s eyes turned to me. I was momentarily taken aback by everyone’s eyes on me. Grace approached me and wound her arm through mine.

“Are you ready to cut the cake?” she asked. I looked around the room at everyone staring at me expectantly. My eyes found the clock and I realized it was almost 10 pm. He was an hour and a half late. He lied. He wasn’t coming. Again the voice was there in my mind. You’ve known all night he wasn’t coming.

Without a word I turned around and pushed through the boys, speed walking to the bathrooms as fast as I could. I tried my best to push the whispers from my head; I could hear people taking pity on me and I didn’t like it.

I violently pushed the door open and made my way to the smooth marble sink. The thought crossed my mind that I had never seen a bathroom so nice. It was beautiful. Everything about this night was beautiful. The music. The people. The room. The building. It would have been absolute magic if only he were here. Everything went perfect tonight, except the one thing I desperately wanted and needed to. I would have given all the beauty and happiness of this night up if only he would have come. If only he would have cared enough about me.

I hung my head and watched as mascara streaked tears fell from my face and raced to the bottom of the perfect sink. My chest clenched and I suddenly felt like my skin was burning and like I couldn’t breathe. I screamed and hit the mirror with my fist, too sad and lonely to care about the cost of the damage of the cracked glass. I registered somewhere in my mind that the bathroom door had been flung open and I was in someone’s arms. It didn’t matter who because I knew it wasn’t Julian and it never would be again. They hummed and rocked me in their arms doing their best to sooth me. After having a long, hard, hysterical cry for several long minutes I raised my puffy eyes and realized I had just ruined Reza’s shirt with my smeared lipstick and mascara-tears. He looked down when he felt me raise my head slightly.

“Hey love,” he whispered.

“He said he’d be here,” I cuddled my head back into the space under his chin as silent tears started falling again. He ran his hands up and down my arms. “He said he’d be here,” I whispered.

“I know. I know,” he replied. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in as the bathroom door slowly swung open to reveal a sad looking Grace.

“Hey, I sent everyone home. It’s just us now.” She gave me a small smile and behind her, four heads peeked around her body also sporting little smiles. Erik, Nicky, Simon and Felix all shuffled their feet inside, looking around and obviously unsure of themselves. They eventually all came to sit in a half circle around Reza and I on the floor. We were silent for what seemed like hours until I finally decided I had had enough of the bathroom. I raised my head and everyone around me perked up.

“Cake?” I offered.

“Finally!” Reza half groaned and half shouted. I giggled and lightly slapped his shoulder. Simon helped me stand before helping Reza up as well. I wiped my face as best as I could and slowly made my way back down the hall towards the ballroom. The main lights had been turned off and now all that was on was the strings of lights on the ceiling. The candles on the cake were lit and we sat in a circle around it in the darkened room, Erik and Grace on either side of me. I looked around at them all as they began singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ I watch as they each stare at me and all I can think of is how I wish Julian was here for this. How intensely happy I would be in this moment and how complete it would be.

The phone on my bedside table begins to ring with his special tone. I pick it up in my hand and stare down at the picture of us. He’s sitting with his wide perfect smile as I kiss him on the cheek from behind. It’s my favorite picture of us. I slide my finger across the screen and put the phone to my ear, not sure what I’m going to do or say to him.

“Hey babe, I’m so, so sorry I didn’t make it last night,” he begins immediately. He rambles on about getting caught at a friend’s house and I stay silent as I listen to him and then something in my brain clicks. He’s quit talking and I’m quiet long enough for him to question “Babe?”

“I’m sorry, too,” I whisper.

“Huh?”

“I said I’m sorry, too. You should’ve been there. You’re the one person I care most about in this world and you weren’t there. We’re not going to be able to go back after this. Things have been wrong for too long between us.”

“Babe –”

“No. Do you know what I wished for last night as I was blowing my candles out with Grace and the other boys? The one thing that I wanted and that would have made me happier than anything?” He was silent. “You, that’s all I wanted,” I sniffed, tears starting up for the second or third time today. “You don’t feel the same and I don’t know when that changed for you, but it should have ended then. It didn’t, so I’m ending it now. Goodbye, Julian.” With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I hang up the phone before I say any more. I hang my head in my hands, tears falling and landing on the little white album in front of me, I read the cover and ran to my room, leaving the others.

Photos of us, Julian and Sabrina.

Words Cannot Express Your Beauty- NIALL HORAN (to Emily McKnight)

Warning: Self Harm

I had been dating my boyfriend Niall Horan from the band One Direction for 8 months now and everything was going great…for him at least. Trust me, I love him more than anything in the world but I had been dealing with some very serious problems in my personal life. For starters, I had been self-harming for the past 3 months. Also, my step father had been abusing me relentlessly. I would always be able to make up an excuse for the new scar or bruise on my body since Niall was too oblivious to notice something was wrong. I was fine with it though; I didn’t want him to worry anyways.

I was currently sitting in Niall’s flat, his arm around my shoulder sitting on the couch watching some superhero movie. I was more occupied with covering the scars and bruises on my arms than the plotline of the film. Niall laughed at each joke and I would smile at his chuckles. His laugh was too perfect for words to even explain. Niall himself was beyond beautiful. His eyes were my favorite feature though. They were a deep crystal blue on some days and on others it would be lighter electric blue. They were mesmerizing. I wish I could be as beautiful as Niall.

The familiar incoming depression I faced way too many times, surfaced once again. I was ugly. I was fat. I was stupid and I didn’t deserve Niall. Niall had gorgeous girls throwing themselves at his feet on a daily basis yet he chose me of all people. It didn’t add up. I felt my eyes well up with tears and I excused myself to the bathroom.

Niall kept watching the television as I walked down the hallway of his flat into his bathroom. I locked it behind me before sobbing, looking into the mirror disgusted by the face staring back at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a razor; it’s shiny, silver tip looking beyond tempting. I wondered how deep it could cut.

With tears still streaming down my cheeks, slightly clouding up my vision, I subconsciously reached a hand out, grasping the sharp tool. I rolled up my sleeve, revealing old scars. It was time to renew them. I smiled sadly, bringing the cool tip of the razor to the middle of my wrist. “This one is for being ugly.” I dug the razor in, breaking skin and slicing deep into my flesh, blood surfacing. Seeing the dripping blood gave me a sick kick of adrenaline and self-pride. “This one is for being stupid.” I repeated the steps a few times. “Now this one is special. This one is for burdening your beautiful boyfriend Niall with your hideous ass.” The blood dripped into the sink as I cried and dug this cut deeper than ever.

I jumped at the sudden knock at the door. I dropped the blade into the bloody sink. What a mess I had made. “Babe, are you okay? You’ve been in there for a while.” I wanted to respond but words couldn’t form. I felt a bit dizzy and slumped down next to the tub watching the bright red blood dripping onto my clothes and onto the floor. Niall began pounding on the door shouting my name. Finally, he managed to break the door open. His expression read alarmed and shocked when he saw me. “Em!” he screamed, running over to me. He cupped my face in his hands. I couldn’t say anything, just sob. He grabbed a towel from the nearby closet, wrapping my wrists in it. He lifted me up bridal-style before carrying me into his dark bedroom, setting me on his warm bed.

I then fell unconscious as Niall left the room for something. I was finally peaceful. I awoke slowly. I was underneath Niall’s blankets. I felt my wrists and they were bandaged. I opened my eyes a bit more. They were puffy from crying so much. I looked around the moonlit room and my eyes landed on him. Niall, head in his hands sobbing. “Niall?” I whispered. He looked up and those once happy blue eyes were drained with sadness and tears. It was my fault for it. “Why?” He said in a barely audible whisper. “Why what?” I asked, voice raspy. “YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT!” He suddenly roared, standing up from his chair pointing at me. I felt the feeling again and my eyes started watering. I had never seen Niall this angry before.

His expression softened as he saw the tears on my cheeks. He sat next to me on the bed. He wrapped his arms around my body, warming it up and surprisingly, taking a lot of the pain away. He stroked my hair as if I was a baby whispering, “It’s okay. Shh. I’ll hold you. I’ll take care of you. I’m so sorry for screaming baby.” I cuddle into his chest as we laid down, tangling our bodies against one another.

I had finally managed to stop crying when he looked into my eyes and said, “Emily, I love you so fucking much,” he paused and this heart-wrenching expression took over his face, “Do you know how much seeing you like that killed me inside?” he said quietly.

I shook my head sadly, eyes wondering. We turned over, laying down staring up at the ceiling. His hand somehow found mine and he laced our fingers together. I suddenly heard that beautiful angelic voice of his. “Stay for tonight. If you want to, I can show you, what my dreams are made of, as I’m dreaming of your face. I’ve been away for a long time; such a long time. And I miss you there. I can’t imagine being anywhere else I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here. How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, I could sing you a song, but I don’t think words can express your beauty. It’s singing to me. How the hell did we end up like this? You bring out the beast in me. I fell in love from the moment we kissed. Since then we’ve been history.”

I had tears in my eyes…and for once they weren’t sad tears, but, tears of joy. I looked deep into those beautiful blue orbs and smiled. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. They were soft and plump and perfect.“I love you too,” I whispered eyes closed. “Promise me you’ll never hurt yourself ever again,” he whispered lowly. I nodded my head vigorously and said, “I promise Niall. I’ll need you though.” He nodded his head too. “Whatever it takes baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“I’m already happy now Niall.”

SongUpThere:

If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn

 

She's Not Afraid

um.... ini dia post pertama yang agak normal.

aku cuman mau bilang...

AKU SUKA BANGET KOMIK VENUS CAPRICCIO!

maksudku, gila! gara" baca di les karena mati lampu, AKU JADI SUKA BANGET!!!

 ini yang cowo mirip cewe yg keren!!

Cowo mirip cewe yang jatoh cinta sama cewe tomboy! vice versa.

Sekian dari saya, tapi

*gaNTI BAHASA*

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