You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
Because she doesn't get you're humor like I do
Nicky was on the phone with his girlfriend, Lelita . Earlier today, he made a
joke about CIT's and it wasn't intended towards her. It was actually
pretty funny. Anyway, Lelita was yelling at him and giving him a
lecture about how he shouldn't make jokes about her. He's telling her it
wasn't about her and it truly wasn't. If she can't trust him, she
should just break up with him!
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
Nicky threw his phone at the ground. "What happened?" I asked. "Lelita." he
said, glaring at his phone. "God, I hate her." I looked at him
confused. "Then why are you dating her?" I asked. He looked at me.
"Because I also love her." he said, looking at a picture of her. "I wish
she was more like you. You know?" I blushed at the statement. Did he
just compliment me?
-
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find
that what you're lookin' for has been here the whole time
I
was at his football game. He was standing next to Lelita at
half-time talking to her. They seemed to be making up over the fight
last night. Why can't he see he's dating an awful girl? I glanced back
at them and saw them kissing. They always fight then they
always end up kissing in the end. It makes me really mad. Why can't
they just break up already?
-
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Nicky smiled at me happily after the football game. "What's up?" I asked him,
rolling my eyes. He's going to tell me about Lelita. "She
forgave me." he said. I knew it. That's how much I know my Nicky Boo – I
mean Nicky! That's how much I know about Nicky.
Walkin' the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin' to myself
Hey isn't this easy?
We
walked down to his house and just sat down on the park bench in front
of it. He's my neighbor. "Anyway, let's stop talking about Princess.
Let's talk about something else." he smiled at me. I love his smile;
it's really cute and he rarely smiles unless he's with someone he's
close to. But what I find odd is that he never smiles around lelita.
We thought for a second and out of nowhere Nicky yelled, "Bigmouth and
her sweet pig nose!" We laughed for a bit. That's an inside joke between
us.
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, What'cha doing with a girl like that?
Lelita's
car pulled into his driveway. Nicky's big smile turned into a huge
frown. "I gotta go, Grace." he said, jumping into Lelita's car without
opening the door. "Open the door next time!" she yelled. he rolled
his eyes and the next thing you know, Lelita has her lips locked with Nicky's. I'm pretty used to it because it happens a lot. they were cute until Lelita became a total snob after Julian got
her into detention.
-
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
Two
days later, Nicky had another football game. He texted me he was going
to be late. I looked at the cheer-leading squad and could not believe
my eyes. I saw Lelita making out with Felix, the most popular guy in
school. I knew Lelita was evil! She doesn't deserve Nicky! I took out
my phone and was about to text Nicky, but I was imagining his reaction
to it. I put down my phone and just starred at them make out. Then I
pictured that as Nicky and me.
-
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Nicky soon found out about Lelita and Felix. He was devastated but I was
there to comfort him. "She was a jerk. She doesn't deserve a guy
like you. Heck, she doesn't deserve anyone! She should just break out,
have a massive break down, and have no one like her!" I ranted. That's
when he told me to stop. "Just stop. I should've known better than
to trust her." he sighed. "How could she do this to me?"
Standin' by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Lelita didn't know that Nicky found out about the kiss. The prom was tonight
so he was going. He told me he was going to break it to her in front of
everyone. That's kind of harsh but she deserves it. I got a text from
him. "You going to the prom?" he texted me. "No." I texted. "Oh. Wish
you could go. Cya." he texted.
Oh remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes I you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.
I
sat on my bed, thinking about all the times Nicky and I spent. That's
when I made my decision. I will go to the prom. Just to surprise Nicky.
Maybe he'll dance with me. Who knows. I took out this beautiful black
dress I never wore and made my hair all pretty. I was ready to go.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
I
walked into the school gym and it was packed with couples, balloons,
food and drinks, decorations, and music. Just like on TV. Everyone
starred at me. What was wrong? Did I overdress? Underdress? I hope not. I
made my way through the crowd and saw Nicky. He turned around and
looked me. His eyes widened. "Wow…" he whispered. Lelita ran over to
him. "NICK!" she called. Then she saw him starring at me. "Babe, our
song is on. Let's dance!" she grabbed his arm.
"No." he said.
Everyone gasped. They were the most popular couple in the school. "What
do you mean, 'no'?" she hissed. "I'm not going to be with you
anymore. You and Felix kissed. FELIX! Seriously; I thought
you were in love with me. But no! You aren't!" He growled. she
clenched her teeth. "Fine! I guess I'll stay with Felix and forget
about you idiot!" she stepped on his foot but he didn't feel a thing. He
just started to stare at me.
Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me
"Grace."
Duncan said, walking over to me. Everyone starred at us in shock. "All
this time, I never loved her… I loved you." he said. "R-really?" I
could barely speak. I was in too much shock. "Yeah, but I thought you
didn't like me." he said, sadly. "Do you like me back?" I wrapped my
arms around his neck and pulled him close.
"hey idiot, how could you
not know that I've always been crushing on you? You never noticed those
vibes? I've liked you forever but I could never admit it. But now's the
time to tell you that I'm in love with you." I blurted out. Then I
finally kissed him. It was the best moment of my 16-year old life. he broke up with Lelita. He confessed that he was in love with me.
And I found out that he is my soul mate.
We separated and I gazed into his eyes. "I love you." he said, softly. "I love you too." I said, back.
and in that moment i swear we were infinite
8/01/2013
7/31/2013
Moments - Gracerik
Shut the door. Turn the lights off.
I get back from Grace's funeral. Everyone offers me a shoulder to cry on. But none of them understand. They don't get it.
I wanna be with you. I wanna feel your love.
I drove back to the burial grounds. I sat next to her grave. I just wanted her to come back. I wanted her here.
I wanna lay beside you. I cannot hide this. Even though I try.
I laid down next to her grave. I thought of all that we had been through. I wanted to just take a step back and be thankful for the time we had together. I felt selfish, wanting her back. But I needed her. I couldn't hide my feelings.
Heart beats harder. Time escapes me.
Its 1 o' clock. It had been 4 hours of me just lying there. It felt like barely any time.
Trembling hands touch skin. It makes this harder.
My friends comfort me. They are upset too. They try to make me forget all about it. It makes me guilty for what I am going to do
And the tears stream down my face.
I couldn't believe I lost her. I cried and cried and hoped for her return but I knew as well as everyone else, that the crying wouldn't bring her back. Nothing will at this point
If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time.
If I could be with her again, I'd make it count. I would've made sure she knew my feelings. Made sure I never want her to leave. Made sure she wouldn't have gotten in that car. Made sure she wouldn't have left this life/
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
Close the door. Throw the key. Don't wanna be reminded. Don't wanna be seen.
I arrive home with my friends. I lock myself in. I don't want to remember what happened. What I could've done. I don't want anyone to see me now, besides her.
Don't wanna be without you.
I look up at the sky. The stars are bright. Now I was talking to her. Telling her everything. She isn't listening. She is in a better place. But I can't live without her.
My judgement's clouded like tonight's sky
I didn't know what was going through my head. I just knew I couldn't live without her.
Hands are silent. Voice is numb. Try to scream out my lungs. It makes it harder. And the tears stream down my face.
No more trying to comfort me. The effort is gone. I'm screaming at the sky at this point. My throat hurting but I keep going. I cry harder with each word. Each cry for help. Each regret from my life.
If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time.
If I could be with her again, I'd make it count. I would've made sure she knew my feelings. Made sure I never want her to leave. Made sure she wouldn't have gotten in that car. Made sure she wouldn't have left this life/
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
Flashes left in my mind. Going back to the time. Playing games in the street. Kicking balls with my feet.
I stood closer and my life flashed before me. My memories with her. We were care-free and insane. We were happy and having fun. Little did we know, our fun would be interrupted by one moment in time, one mistake.
Dancing on with my toes. Standing close to the edge
I remember again our fun times. Our wonderful moments. I take another step, no regrets now.
There's a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed.
I tear off my shirt and throw it at the bed. The shirt was a gift from you. I get even closer to the ledge.
As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all.
I finally let go. Knowing I will be with her again.
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
I get back from Grace's funeral. Everyone offers me a shoulder to cry on. But none of them understand. They don't get it.
I wanna be with you. I wanna feel your love.
I drove back to the burial grounds. I sat next to her grave. I just wanted her to come back. I wanted her here.
I wanna lay beside you. I cannot hide this. Even though I try.
I laid down next to her grave. I thought of all that we had been through. I wanted to just take a step back and be thankful for the time we had together. I felt selfish, wanting her back. But I needed her. I couldn't hide my feelings.
Heart beats harder. Time escapes me.
Its 1 o' clock. It had been 4 hours of me just lying there. It felt like barely any time.
Trembling hands touch skin. It makes this harder.
My friends comfort me. They are upset too. They try to make me forget all about it. It makes me guilty for what I am going to do
And the tears stream down my face.
I couldn't believe I lost her. I cried and cried and hoped for her return but I knew as well as everyone else, that the crying wouldn't bring her back. Nothing will at this point
If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time.
If I could be with her again, I'd make it count. I would've made sure she knew my feelings. Made sure I never want her to leave. Made sure she wouldn't have gotten in that car. Made sure she wouldn't have left this life/
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
Close the door. Throw the key. Don't wanna be reminded. Don't wanna be seen.
I arrive home with my friends. I lock myself in. I don't want to remember what happened. What I could've done. I don't want anyone to see me now, besides her.
Don't wanna be without you.
I look up at the sky. The stars are bright. Now I was talking to her. Telling her everything. She isn't listening. She is in a better place. But I can't live without her.
My judgement's clouded like tonight's sky
I didn't know what was going through my head. I just knew I couldn't live without her.
Hands are silent. Voice is numb. Try to scream out my lungs. It makes it harder. And the tears stream down my face.
No more trying to comfort me. The effort is gone. I'm screaming at the sky at this point. My throat hurting but I keep going. I cry harder with each word. Each cry for help. Each regret from my life.
If we could only have this life for one more day. If we could only turn back time.
If I could be with her again, I'd make it count. I would've made sure she knew my feelings. Made sure I never want her to leave. Made sure she wouldn't have gotten in that car. Made sure she wouldn't have left this life/
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
Flashes left in my mind. Going back to the time. Playing games in the street. Kicking balls with my feet.
I stood closer and my life flashed before me. My memories with her. We were care-free and insane. We were happy and having fun. Little did we know, our fun would be interrupted by one moment in time, one mistake.
Dancing on with my toes. Standing close to the edge
I remember again our fun times. Our wonderful moments. I take another step, no regrets now.
There's a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed.
I tear off my shirt and throw it at the bed. The shirt was a gift from you. I get even closer to the ledge.
As I feel myself fall, make a joke of it all.
I finally let go. Knowing I will be with her again.
You know I'll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart, is breathing for this moment in time, I'll find the words to say. Before you leave me today.
I was there for her and she was for me. She kept me going. She was my everything. Now trying to explain my feelings to my friends, I couldn't. Nothing could make them understand my pain. Only she could, and I wished I could've told her everything.
7/27/2013
7/26/2013
Princess of China - sabun
(his P.O.V)
(sabrina's P.O.V)
(No One's P.O.V)
Once upon a time somebody ran
Somebody ran away saying 'fast as I can I got to go, I got to go'
I
sat and I watched her. sabrina andx I were eatting dinner, in this big
lovely mansion. Just me and her. Alone. There was no conversation,
because there was nothing to say. Ever since that night, things just
haven't been the same. I made a mistake, but I dont regret it. Maybe
getting married isn't the best idea. But I love her, don't I? I look at
her face. She was purposely advoiding direct eye contact with me. Again.
Another night of prancing around each other, without saying anything. I
can't live like this I got to go. This isn't healthy for me. For her.
For us.
Once upon a time we fell apart
You're holding in your hands the two halves of my heart
Oh oh oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
As
I watched her push her food around her plate, I remember that day.
The day I caused this. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair as I
began to rememeber.
After a hard day
at work, Sabrina and I began arguing over Aoi. Aoi is and always will
be my best friend. She has always been there for me. We have been
friends since we were kids. I watched her grow up to be this lovely
woman, but she's just a friend. Sabrina doesn't like that. Some
harshful words were said and things were thrown, but nothing hurt worst
when Sabrina said ' julian you need to choose me or her'. I just stared
at her with glassy eyes. I watched as tears fell from her brown eyes and
down her mocha skin. I was about to hurt her. I grabbed my black
leather jacket and the keys to my porshe. 'If you walk out that
door than I know who you're really choosing!'. I opened the door, and
looked back at Sabrina one last time. She was sitting at the bottom of
the spiral stairs. Her hair hung loosley around her, framing her face
and continuing to flow down her shoulders. Tear stained her aqua blue
blouse, and I dared to look into her blood shot eyes. They were full of
sorrow. I looked foward towards my car. 'I'm sorry'. That was all I said
before closing the door behind me leaving a broken Sabrina.
I
sat up and looked at her sitting across from me at the dinner
table. She was still avoiding my eyes. I can't take it anymore! I dont
know why I came back. Maybe I should leave and this time for good. She
doesn't want me here, does she even love me? I can't play house anymore,
if this is real then she needs to let me know now ! 'Do you love me?'.
My question pierced the deadly silence we were sitting in. Courtney just
looked at me with hurt eyes.
(sabrina's P.O.V)
Once upon a time we burned bright
Now all we ever seem to do is fight
On and on, and on and on and on
I
couldn't eat with him starring at me with those piercing brown eyes. I
couldn't help but remeber all our memories. The day I first met him, our first date, the day we moved in together, the day her proposed and
the day her broke my heart. Our relationship has been a rollcoaster, all
because of his best friend Aoi. I dont trust him around her. I have
seen the way he looks at her. It different from the way he look at me.
Does he love her? Does he love me? I mean we argue over Aoi alot, but
our last argument about her really hurt. I set down my fork as I forced
myslef to remember.
'julian if you walk
out that door than I know who your're really choosing' I yelled as julian opened the door. He looked back at me. I starred into his brown eyes, hoping that he woud turn around scoop me into his arms and make
things right. Instead he apoligized and left. I was broken, but this
whole time I knew. He loved Aoi. I didn't wait by the phone for him to
call or stare out the window until he came back. I was done with Julian,
because I knew the truth. I took my engagment ring off,set it on the
fireplace and went to bed.
Once upon a time on the same side
Once upon a time on the same side in the same game
Now why d'you have to go
Have to go and throw water on my flame?
He left me. He doesn't love me. Why is he here? Why did he do this to us ?
These questions just continued to flood my head. I picked up my fork
and actually took small bites of the dinner I made. I blinked and tears
fell down onto the mahogony table. I quickly wiped them up before Julian
could notice. Why has he done this to me? To us?
I could have been a princess, you'd be a king
Could have had a castle and worn a ring
But no ,you let me go
Julian
and I were going to get married in May. Yes, I've always wanted a
spring wedding. I was getting my dress custom made and everything. The
plans for the wedding were going farily quickly since it was April. I
was going to get married soon. I though I had everything. A husband that
loved me as equally as I loved him, the house of my dreams and
beautiful children. But no. He wanted Aoi. I was not getting my spring
wedding, a loving husband, the house of my dreams or beautiful children.
All because he loved her.
I could have been a princess, you'd be a king
Could have had a castle and worn a ring
But no,you let me go
Sometimes
I can't help but think about the life I could have if he chose me. I
continued to push my food around on the plate. He hasn't noticed
that I haven't been wearing my engagment ring. I wasn't putting it back
on. It had no meaning, no significance. So why pretend to play house,
when obviously his heart isn't with me. 'Do you love me?' The first
words Julian has asked me since he came back. I looked at him with hurt
eyes.
(No One's P.O.V)
You stole my star
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
You stole my star La-la-la-la-la-la-la
"Of
course I love you" Sabrina replied to his foolish question. "Then why
are you not wearing your ring?". Julian watched her with cold eyes.
"Because it has no significance, you dont love me Julian. You love Aoi" She was struggling to keep her voice under control she
didn't want to burst into tears again infront of him. The two stared at
each other. "I gave you everything. My heart, my soul, my trust! You
tried, but you couldn't because you loved someone else" sabrina couldn't keep it in any longer. "I don't love her" he replied
in a calm, leveled voice. "YES YOU DO, when you walked out that door! that's the message you sent me. Because if you really cared you
would not have left". sabrina was now crying as she spoke.
he couldn't say anything, because she was right. he loved Aoi.
'Cause you really hurt me, no you really hurt me
'Cause you really hurt me, no you really hurt me'
He stood up from the table. Before he left Sabrina had to tell him how
she felt."You really hurt me!", he turned back and looked at Sabrina's eyes. They were full of hatred. "It hurts to know that the
man that you love, loves someone else and you dont say that you don't Julian. The way you watch her with admiring eyes, you have NEVER looked
at me like that. I cant compete with her. I never have been able to! So
why ? WHY WOULD YOU PORPOSE IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT?" her voice was
full of complete rage. "I DID LOVE YOU BUT YOU PUSHED ME AWAY
AND THAT HURT ME!". "I least I came home to you every night! Those
nights when you were 'at the office', I knew you were at Aoi' s house.
That's why I changed, I know all about your affair with her !" Sabrina's words continued to ring in his ears. 'She knew, all this
time she knew' he thought. He felt so ashamed."When were you going
to tell me?" Tears were now flowing from her face. Now he was avoiding her eyes.
'Cause you really hurt me,
oh you really hurt me, Oh-ooh-ooh
'Cause you really hurt me,
You really hurt me
she stood up from the table and walked over the the fireplace to grab the
ring. he felt as if someone knocked the wind out of him. He had
really hurt her. she walked back over to him and looked directly
into his eyes. "The wedding is off because you hurt me too much.
Certain things I can put up with, but this I cant." Sabrina no longer
had tears in her eyes, she looked confident and sure of the words that
were coming out of her mouth. However, Julian just looked out her
confused. she walked up stairs and grabbed her bags that she packed
earlier. "Where are you going?" he didn't want her to leave, he did
still love her. Didn't he?. she opened the door and looked back at him for the last time. She look at his jet-black hair that was
slicked back, and then into his glassy brown eyes that were begging her
to stay. " Aoi's yours, and you're the lover . Congratulations". she tossed the ring over her shoulder and left. Julian caught the
ring and stared at the door that Sabrina just walked out of.
7/19/2013
7 Things -- Nice
It goes his POV her PoV then both kind of
general POV. plus some flashbacks
Sha Sha Sha. I probably shouldn't say this but at times I get so scared. When I think about the previous relationship we shared.
The boy often thought of his secret girl on the bus to school. Her memory gave him comfort in these dark times. If he was born in another family he might even admit he wished to be a 8-3 as well. But he was a blue-blooded so he and his girlfriend, excuse that thought EX-girlfriend, had to remain enemies to the public. And though they were broken up, nobody could ever know about their little affair.
It was awesome but we lost it it's not possible for me not to care. And now we're standing in the rain but nothings ever gonna change until you hear, my dear.
I sighed as I exited the bus. It was pouring out. Why had I not noticed this looking out the window? Maybe because I was so lost in my thoughts about her. Damn! I must be seeing things. She's here, it has to be her. No one else has that bushy brown hair. But of course she's here idiot this is her school as much as it is yours. Oh crap. She turned around. Maybe I can walk away?
No she's coming over here. Curses.
"Nicky, didn't think you'd be back." Damn that sweet voice. Too bad those are fighting means she wants me to talk to her.
"And what's that suppossed to mean timothy? I'm still school age. Of course I would still be coming here"
"Well I just figured you'd have been thrown into jail with your loser father." she said icily.
My face turned bright red. Of course HE would come into the conversation.
"How dare you talk about my father you bitch"
She sighed. Why would she sigh?
"You just don't get it what I'm saying." Of course I don't! She doesn't make sense!
The seven things I hate about you! Oh You! Your vain, your games, you're insecure.
(The year before, in his class)
"Nicky ! You look fine! Stop looking in the bloody mirror already"
"I can't help it babe! I need to make sure I look good for my fellow guys"
"Well you can stop because you look very handsome"
"Oh stop playing with me"
"I'm not playing with you"
"Oh we both know that you are. Now how's my hair"
"It's hideous"
"Shit are you serious!" And with that he ran off to the bathroom or the third time in less than twelve minutes. Grace sighed and left the room through the secret passage way.
You love me you like her!
"Nicky"
"What"
"I know we're not 'technically' going out but could you at least keep your eyes in your head"
"Sorry Grace."Nicky apologized sheepishly.
You made me laugh you made me cry I don't know which side to buy. Your friends they're jerks and when you act like them just know it hurts! I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do! You make me love you.
"I hate that I love you." he told me grinning.
"I know. Now let's see if we can tackle your History lesson assignment before it's too late."
It's awkward and it's silent.
(Present time)
"Nicky, you'll be paired with Ms.Timothy"
"Sir you must be joking"
"I don't joke Nicky."
Great, just great.
As I wait for you to I need to hear now. Your sincere apology.
"Nicky"
"Pass the sulphur will you bitch"
"Nicky"
"I don't want to talk bitch. Just hand me the sulphur"
"Well I DO want to talk nicky"
"Ms.timothy! That'll be a detention for you for shouting in my classroom"
"But she didn't do anything!" Adrian yelled trying to defend her.
"No lip Jingga or I will deduct your score"
The room stayed quiet. Some people we're still processing what Grace had said.
Nicky muttered under his breath,"What do want"
"A sincere apology"
They didn't speak for the rest of the class period.
When you mean it I'll believe it if you text it I'll delete it let's be clear. Well I'm not coming back. You're taking seven steps here. The 7 things I hate about you!
After class Nicky met up with her in the hall. "Hey Grace? I'm sorry. I truly am"
"I believe you Nicky"
"Friends? Secretly of course"
"No Nicky. I'm not coming back." She hid her smile walking away. She loved this game!
Your vain, your games, you love me you like her. You made me laugh, you made me cry I don't know which side to buy!
(The previous year)
He tickled her. He couldn't help distracting her from their many homework piles. She was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.
"Gosh Grace! You need to put some meat on your bones! Your ribs keep sticking me"
She still had tears in her eyes, but they were not of laughter anymore.
Your friends they're jerks and when you act like them just know it hurts!
She was just sitting with Sabrina and Julian when a bunch of my friends walked up.
"Hey bitch! Planning on making more dirty brats with these two traitors?"
"Yeah, whose first"
Julian and Tanady began dueling it out. Nicky walked up.
"Hey Grace? Does the winner get to claim you or is it gonna be rock, paper, scissors after this"
"Shut your mouth Nicky"
"Ooo! Touchy."
I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do! You make me love you. I've been through all the great things that would take too long to write. I probably should mention the seven that I like. The seven things I like about you! Your hair, your eyes, your old levis.
(Present time)
"Grace?" Julian looked at her concerned.
"Yes ?"
"You've hardly touched your you keep looking off into the distance"
"Guess I'm just thinking." About that silky black hair and those bright brown eyes. Though Nicky could never know that.
And when we kiss I'm hyptnotized. You made me laugh, you made me cry but I guess that's both I'll have to buy. Your hand in mine when we're intertwined everything's alright.
They were under an old oak. Hidden away in the dark woods. They wouldn't be found but the thought that they could be was thrilling. As they pulled away they looked into each others eyes. She loved him. She always would. This was their moment forever. But what was that beebing in the distance?
She woke with a start. Damn! She hated dreaming about past memories that still felt so real.
I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I like the most that you do.
You make me love you.
Sha. Sha. Sha.
Sha Sha Sha. I probably shouldn't say this but at times I get so scared. When I think about the previous relationship we shared.
The boy often thought of his secret girl on the bus to school. Her memory gave him comfort in these dark times. If he was born in another family he might even admit he wished to be a 8-3 as well. But he was a blue-blooded so he and his girlfriend, excuse that thought EX-girlfriend, had to remain enemies to the public. And though they were broken up, nobody could ever know about their little affair.
It was awesome but we lost it it's not possible for me not to care. And now we're standing in the rain but nothings ever gonna change until you hear, my dear.
I sighed as I exited the bus. It was pouring out. Why had I not noticed this looking out the window? Maybe because I was so lost in my thoughts about her. Damn! I must be seeing things. She's here, it has to be her. No one else has that bushy brown hair. But of course she's here idiot this is her school as much as it is yours. Oh crap. She turned around. Maybe I can walk away?
No she's coming over here. Curses.
"Nicky, didn't think you'd be back." Damn that sweet voice. Too bad those are fighting means she wants me to talk to her.
"And what's that suppossed to mean timothy? I'm still school age. Of course I would still be coming here"
"Well I just figured you'd have been thrown into jail with your loser father." she said icily.
My face turned bright red. Of course HE would come into the conversation.
"How dare you talk about my father you bitch"
She sighed. Why would she sigh?
"You just don't get it what I'm saying." Of course I don't! She doesn't make sense!
The seven things I hate about you! Oh You! Your vain, your games, you're insecure.
(The year before, in his class)
"Nicky ! You look fine! Stop looking in the bloody mirror already"
"I can't help it babe! I need to make sure I look good for my fellow guys"
"Well you can stop because you look very handsome"
"Oh stop playing with me"
"I'm not playing with you"
"Oh we both know that you are. Now how's my hair"
"It's hideous"
"Shit are you serious!" And with that he ran off to the bathroom or the third time in less than twelve minutes. Grace sighed and left the room through the secret passage way.
You love me you like her!
"Nicky"
"What"
"I know we're not 'technically' going out but could you at least keep your eyes in your head"
"Sorry Grace."Nicky apologized sheepishly.
You made me laugh you made me cry I don't know which side to buy. Your friends they're jerks and when you act like them just know it hurts! I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do! You make me love you.
"I hate that I love you." he told me grinning.
"I know. Now let's see if we can tackle your History lesson assignment before it's too late."
It's awkward and it's silent.
(Present time)
"Nicky, you'll be paired with Ms.Timothy"
"Sir you must be joking"
"I don't joke Nicky."
Great, just great.
As I wait for you to I need to hear now. Your sincere apology.
"Nicky"
"Pass the sulphur will you bitch"
"Nicky"
"I don't want to talk bitch. Just hand me the sulphur"
"Well I DO want to talk nicky"
"Ms.timothy! That'll be a detention for you for shouting in my classroom"
"But she didn't do anything!" Adrian yelled trying to defend her.
"No lip Jingga or I will deduct your score"
The room stayed quiet. Some people we're still processing what Grace had said.
Nicky muttered under his breath,"What do want"
"A sincere apology"
They didn't speak for the rest of the class period.
When you mean it I'll believe it if you text it I'll delete it let's be clear. Well I'm not coming back. You're taking seven steps here. The 7 things I hate about you!
After class Nicky met up with her in the hall. "Hey Grace? I'm sorry. I truly am"
"I believe you Nicky"
"Friends? Secretly of course"
"No Nicky. I'm not coming back." She hid her smile walking away. She loved this game!
Your vain, your games, you love me you like her. You made me laugh, you made me cry I don't know which side to buy!
(The previous year)
He tickled her. He couldn't help distracting her from their many homework piles. She was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes.
"Gosh Grace! You need to put some meat on your bones! Your ribs keep sticking me"
She still had tears in her eyes, but they were not of laughter anymore.
Your friends they're jerks and when you act like them just know it hurts!
She was just sitting with Sabrina and Julian when a bunch of my friends walked up.
"Hey bitch! Planning on making more dirty brats with these two traitors?"
"Yeah, whose first"
Julian and Tanady began dueling it out. Nicky walked up.
"Hey Grace? Does the winner get to claim you or is it gonna be rock, paper, scissors after this"
"Shut your mouth Nicky"
"Ooo! Touchy."
I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do! You make me love you. I've been through all the great things that would take too long to write. I probably should mention the seven that I like. The seven things I like about you! Your hair, your eyes, your old levis.
(Present time)
"Grace?" Julian looked at her concerned.
"Yes ?"
"You've hardly touched your you keep looking off into the distance"
"Guess I'm just thinking." About that silky black hair and those bright brown eyes. Though Nicky could never know that.
And when we kiss I'm hyptnotized. You made me laugh, you made me cry but I guess that's both I'll have to buy. Your hand in mine when we're intertwined everything's alright.
They were under an old oak. Hidden away in the dark woods. They wouldn't be found but the thought that they could be was thrilling. As they pulled away they looked into each others eyes. She loved him. She always would. This was their moment forever. But what was that beebing in the distance?
She woke with a start. Damn! She hated dreaming about past memories that still felt so real.
I wanna be with the one I know. And the seventh thing I like the most that you do.
You make me love you.
Sha. Sha. Sha.
7/10/2013
Mirrors - Justin Timberlake
Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me
Aren't you somethin', an original
'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample
And I can't help but stare, 'cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now (please show me, baby)
I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me
You are, you are the love of my life [x10]
Now you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are
You are, you are the love of my life [x8]
Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You are, you are the love of my life [x16]
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me
Aren't you somethin', an original
'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample
And I can't help but stare, 'cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now (please show me, baby)
I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me
You are, you are the love of my life [x10]
Now you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are
You are, you are the love of my life [x8]
Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You are, you are the love of my life [x16]
The One That Got Away - Sabun (official name)
Songfic.
‘Summer after high school When we first met.’
I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love.
My friends and I arrived at the festival to celebrate the summer in Queen Park. We looked forward to it.
"I’m going to get a drink!" I cried and nodded at the scolding that sold drinks and food.
“What can I get you?" a guy with an cute accent said.
I looked straight into his piercing brown eyes that sparkled in the light.
“A Coke"
“What, that’s all? A Coke? “He said with a grin while he left his eyebrow.
“I’m not as wild as I look," I said, biting my lip.
I must admit, I didn’t look like a sweet and girly girl. I had a “hipster" like style and often wore short shorts, oversized t-shirts and leather jackets with Army boots. My hair was messy and um.. well you could say ugly.
“Oh really?" He said and laughed. “What is your name?"
“Sabrina, but everyone calls me Sab …"
“I’m going to call Sab, if I may?" He said and laughed.
“Sure you can, bartender!"
He laughed. “My name is Julian"
“Did I ask your name?" I said and put a lock of hair behind my ear.
He laughed again. I like him, I hardly know him, but I like him. Just because he seems to find everything hilarious.
“Sab, are you coming back or what?" I turned around and saw Grace, my best friend, walking towards me.
“Sorry Julian, my work calls," I said and winked.
“No problem Sab, it was nice talking to you" he said and grinned.
I grabbed my Coke and went to Grace.
“Flirting with the bartender?" Grace giggled.
“He’s cute!” I said and looked back, saw that he looked at me with a strange smile on his lips.
The festival came to his end and everyone went away. Everyone was huddled in the car, but I was still walking on the dirty grass of the park, because I was too tired to follow the group.
“Sab" I turned around and saw Julian a bit further away.
I smiled and stepped towards him.
“Are you leaving?"
I nodded.
“A friend of mine his holding this ‘after party thing’ at his place. Wanna join?”
“Are you crazy? It’s super late and I’m super tired! "
“Come on, act the way you dress babe!" He said laughing and took a sip from the jug of beer he was holding.
“If I can get home, I’m in”
“I have a car," he said and winked.
“Then why are we waiting?" I said and smiled .
“Good," he said and hit his arm around me.
We walked past the car where my friends were waiting for me.
I looked at Grace with a ‘I’m going somewhere with this hottie, you guys can go' - look
She smiled and nodded approvingly.
It was very crowded, the music was too loud - probably because there is already a good dose of alcohol rustling through my veins - and I knew nobody.
Yeah okay Julian, but it’s not that I actually know him.
“Do you want something to drink? A coke perhaps? “He said teasingly.
“Funny!” I said and pushed him in the ribs. “I take what you take”
“Are you sure you can handle beer Sab?”
I stuck my tongue out at him and walked away.
It was late. Or early. I don’t even know. All I knew is that I was dancing and felt that the alcohol and the music took over my whole body. It was fantastic. Suddenly I felt two strong hands grab my waist.
“Wanna go home?" the horse, oh i mean Julian.
I nodded. He wove his fingers in mine and dragged me outside.
I didn’t know that my life had changed completely. Without really knowing him, without thinking about my future, I had already found the one.
"Used to steal your parents’ liquor and climb to the roof. Talk about our future, like we had a clue. Never planned that one day, I’d be losing you."
I smiled at the memory. My parents didn’t like Julian, but I didn’t care. Every time he came to me, we stole the fancy liquor of my father and we sat on the roof of the old barn at the end of the street. We talked about everything for hours, just us two. Together. Everything seemed so innocent.
“Help me!” I screamed as I couldn’t get on the roof.
He laughed and pulled me up. I sighed with relief when I sat beside him, my arm around him while we drank the fancy liquor of my father from plastic cups.
“This is nice, sitting here with you" I said and smiled.
“Indeed," he whispered.
“What if I lose you?”
“don’t say that, because that’s not gonna happen! You will never leave my sight and I’m not leaving yours, remember? We’re going to see the world together, remember? And we don’t worry about the future! “He looked right into my eyes.
“I love you "
“And i love you " he said, pressing his soft lips on mine.
"In another life I would be your girl. We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world.”
Julian and I had that kind of relationship that many people didn’t understand. We fought more than we agreed. Our fights always were about small promises that we didn’t kept. But the same day, we always solved it. We were inseparable and together we could do everything. Nothing was impossible for us.
"You promised to come!" I said angrily.
"I’m sorry, but I didn’t have time!"
"That’s what you say every time! You can never keep your bloody promises Niall!”
"Look, I didn’t have time! I’m sorry, I was busy and I had football training!"
"What, too busy with flirting with other chickens?"
"You say that I never keep my promises, but look at yourself Sabrina!”
"I’m not doing anything!"
"You promised never to exaggerate like that and look at what you’re doing!"
"Sorry that I get easily jealous, mister perfect!”
"Just because I was talking to that girl you didn’t like at that party, you say I do it all the freaking time!’
"Julian" I stared hard at him, my eyes were cold.
Julian smiled gently, but the smile quickly turned into a grin.
I bit my lip to suppress my laughter.
Our discussions always ended in laughter.
"Come here you!" He said as he grabbed me and spun me around.
"Sorry," I said and kissed him.
"Promise me that you are never going to exaggerate like that again"
"Promise! If you promised to let me know if you can’t come, "
"Promise!"
"I love you, you know that?"
He nodded and gave me a kiss. “And I love you even more.”
“You and me against the world?”
“You and me against the world!”
"It’s time to face the music, I’m no longer your muse."
Julian always wrote songs for me, he played them for me on his guitar and he all kept them in a box. Whenever I asked why he did that, his answer was: “Because you’re my muse, ma chérie". And then he gave me a kiss on my forehead. One day, I signed him up for The X-factor ,his voice was divine. I never thought he was going to make it this far. Niall changed by the pressures of fame. Our relationship was different, we weren’t longer the carefree bunch of teenagers that we were back then.
I scrolled through my Google pictures dashboard and stopped when I saw a picture of a girl with brown hair and the ends of her hair were dyed dark blue. I turned my computer to Julian.
“Look, I think I’m going to dye my hair like that"
He looked up from his cell phone.
“No way," he said, shaking his head.
“Why not?"
“Because"
“Julian, you know well enough that that’s not a good reason. And besides, I’ve done it last year, but with pink. Remember?”
“It’s different now”
“Why?”
“When I go to some event, and you go with me and you arrive with that hairdo? People will think that you are…special …"
“What’s wrong with being special? I thought that’s what made us, us right?”
“Babe, there’s nothing wrong with that, but yeah, you understand what I mean. You can’t do it."
I stood up. “Don’t babe me!" I snapped and grabbed my bag.
“sab,"
“What Julian? Why do you care about what people think about me? If you are ashamed of me, I may as well lock myself in a room and never come out with you again!"
“Am I saying that?" He raises his voice.
I stared at my shoes.
“Sab, you know well enough that it would be weird to appear at a red carpet with some crazy hair color.”
“Well, I have a solution: you can go alone to that stupid red carpet!”
“dear, listen" He grabbed my arms.
“Let me go, jerk," I screamed and pushed him away.
“Calm down," he said, trying to hold me.
I took my bag and stormed out of his room. I heard his footsteps following me.
It was raining softly.
“Sabrina Angelina, come back," he cried.
“Fuck you Julian, fuck you and your stupid music" was the last thing I said to him.
"All this money can not buy me a time machine, It can not replace you with a million rings, I should have told you what you meant to me, ‘Cause now I paid the price."
If I could turn back time, oh god, then I would immediately do that. God knows how much I prayed, prayed that that night never happened, that everything was normal, that it was just a nightmare and that I was about to wake up in his arms. Or at least that I had the chance to say goodbye.
"Sabrina, I’ve now left 10 voicemails. I know well enough that you refuse my calls. Where are you? I’m driving around the city for the past 2 hours! Call me when you’re safe please, I’m worried to death. I love you."
"Hey Julian, it … I’m sorry. I’m home now. I’m so sorry, I exaggerated again. I’m freezing and my clothes are soaked, I’ve made hot chocolate and there is enough for us two. I’m sorry babe, I love you.”
I sighed. I had him called back 3 times already, still no answer.
An hour later, Julian didn’t call back.
I began to get nervous. Did something bad happened?
The bell rang. Excited I jumped from my bed and opened the door.
“Jul-Nicky? What are you doing here? “My facial expression changed from happy to worried right away.
Nicky eyes were red and he didn’t have the usual smile on his face.
“Sabrina," He swallowed, his voice sounded hoarse. “Julian is …" He could not finish the sentence, he burst into tears.
“What ? What’s wrong with Julian? "
My heart flipped over and my hands trembled like crazy.
“Nicky?"
“I’m sorry Sabrina," he whispered. He breathed deeply. “Julian got into a car accident. He drove too fast and slipped on a wet road and slammed … slammed against the barriers. He died…instantly”
I hit my hand over my mouth and shook my head.
“No, you’re lying. Tell me you are lying, Niall.. "
he looked at me and shook his head.
I fell on my knees and buried my face in my hands.
“Tell me this is just a nightmare. This can’t be true, no please. Please”
"In another life, I would make you stay. So I do not have to say, You were the One that got away. The One that got away. "
I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love. And 13 years ago I lost him. We had a fight and I ran away. He drove around for hours in his car, looking for me. He was so sweet for me. He was to good for me. I didn’t deserve him. If I didn’t overacted like that, that terrible accident wouldn’t have happened..
I rubbed my thumb over the photo I held in my hand. It was a picture of me and Julian, one of my favorite pictures. My hair was still black on the photo and the way I dressed was all hipster like.
Now, I wore my hair in a tight dot and had my hair color is brunette. My clothes were professional and I was a housewife. Who would have thought that huh?
Yes, I was married. And I loved my husband. But deep down, deep deep down, I still loved Julian with whole my heart, with my whole body, with my entire soul. And I will never love my husband as I loved Julian.
People say that you move on. But I didn’t. I think of him every day, from when I wake up till I go to sleep. I will never forgive myself. I will live forever with that gnawing guilt that it was my fault. It was my fault. I wiped away a tear and took a deep breath.
I’m sorry Julian. I love you. Please, never forget that.
‘Summer after high school When we first met.’
I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love.
My friends and I arrived at the festival to celebrate the summer in Queen Park. We looked forward to it.
"I’m going to get a drink!" I cried and nodded at the scolding that sold drinks and food.
“What can I get you?" a guy with an cute accent said.
I looked straight into his piercing brown eyes that sparkled in the light.
“A Coke"
“What, that’s all? A Coke? “He said with a grin while he left his eyebrow.
“I’m not as wild as I look," I said, biting my lip.
I must admit, I didn’t look like a sweet and girly girl. I had a “hipster" like style and often wore short shorts, oversized t-shirts and leather jackets with Army boots. My hair was messy and um.. well you could say ugly.
“Oh really?" He said and laughed. “What is your name?"
“Sabrina, but everyone calls me Sab …"
“I’m going to call Sab, if I may?" He said and laughed.
“Sure you can, bartender!"
He laughed. “My name is Julian"
“Did I ask your name?" I said and put a lock of hair behind my ear.
He laughed again. I like him, I hardly know him, but I like him. Just because he seems to find everything hilarious.
“Sab, are you coming back or what?" I turned around and saw Grace, my best friend, walking towards me.
“Sorry Julian, my work calls," I said and winked.
“No problem Sab, it was nice talking to you" he said and grinned.
I grabbed my Coke and went to Grace.
“Flirting with the bartender?" Grace giggled.
“He’s cute!” I said and looked back, saw that he looked at me with a strange smile on his lips.
The festival came to his end and everyone went away. Everyone was huddled in the car, but I was still walking on the dirty grass of the park, because I was too tired to follow the group.
“Sab" I turned around and saw Julian a bit further away.
I smiled and stepped towards him.
“Are you leaving?"
I nodded.
“A friend of mine his holding this ‘after party thing’ at his place. Wanna join?”
“Are you crazy? It’s super late and I’m super tired! "
“Come on, act the way you dress babe!" He said laughing and took a sip from the jug of beer he was holding.
“If I can get home, I’m in”
“I have a car," he said and winked.
“Then why are we waiting?" I said and smiled .
“Good," he said and hit his arm around me.
We walked past the car where my friends were waiting for me.
I looked at Grace with a ‘I’m going somewhere with this hottie, you guys can go' - look
She smiled and nodded approvingly.
It was very crowded, the music was too loud - probably because there is already a good dose of alcohol rustling through my veins - and I knew nobody.
Yeah okay Julian, but it’s not that I actually know him.
“Do you want something to drink? A coke perhaps? “He said teasingly.
“Funny!” I said and pushed him in the ribs. “I take what you take”
“Are you sure you can handle beer Sab?”
I stuck my tongue out at him and walked away.
It was late. Or early. I don’t even know. All I knew is that I was dancing and felt that the alcohol and the music took over my whole body. It was fantastic. Suddenly I felt two strong hands grab my waist.
“Wanna go home?" the horse, oh i mean Julian.
I nodded. He wove his fingers in mine and dragged me outside.
I didn’t know that my life had changed completely. Without really knowing him, without thinking about my future, I had already found the one.
"Used to steal your parents’ liquor and climb to the roof. Talk about our future, like we had a clue. Never planned that one day, I’d be losing you."
I smiled at the memory. My parents didn’t like Julian, but I didn’t care. Every time he came to me, we stole the fancy liquor of my father and we sat on the roof of the old barn at the end of the street. We talked about everything for hours, just us two. Together. Everything seemed so innocent.
“Help me!” I screamed as I couldn’t get on the roof.
He laughed and pulled me up. I sighed with relief when I sat beside him, my arm around him while we drank the fancy liquor of my father from plastic cups.
“This is nice, sitting here with you" I said and smiled.
“Indeed," he whispered.
“What if I lose you?”
“don’t say that, because that’s not gonna happen! You will never leave my sight and I’m not leaving yours, remember? We’re going to see the world together, remember? And we don’t worry about the future! “He looked right into my eyes.
“I love you "
“And i love you " he said, pressing his soft lips on mine.
"In another life I would be your girl. We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world.”
Julian and I had that kind of relationship that many people didn’t understand. We fought more than we agreed. Our fights always were about small promises that we didn’t kept. But the same day, we always solved it. We were inseparable and together we could do everything. Nothing was impossible for us.
"You promised to come!" I said angrily.
"I’m sorry, but I didn’t have time!"
"That’s what you say every time! You can never keep your bloody promises Niall!”
"Look, I didn’t have time! I’m sorry, I was busy and I had football training!"
"What, too busy with flirting with other chickens?"
"You say that I never keep my promises, but look at yourself Sabrina!”
"I’m not doing anything!"
"You promised never to exaggerate like that and look at what you’re doing!"
"Sorry that I get easily jealous, mister perfect!”
"Just because I was talking to that girl you didn’t like at that party, you say I do it all the freaking time!’
"Julian" I stared hard at him, my eyes were cold.
Julian smiled gently, but the smile quickly turned into a grin.
I bit my lip to suppress my laughter.
Our discussions always ended in laughter.
"Come here you!" He said as he grabbed me and spun me around.
"Sorry," I said and kissed him.
"Promise me that you are never going to exaggerate like that again"
"Promise! If you promised to let me know if you can’t come, "
"Promise!"
"I love you, you know that?"
He nodded and gave me a kiss. “And I love you even more.”
“You and me against the world?”
“You and me against the world!”
"It’s time to face the music, I’m no longer your muse."
Julian always wrote songs for me, he played them for me on his guitar and he all kept them in a box. Whenever I asked why he did that, his answer was: “Because you’re my muse, ma chérie". And then he gave me a kiss on my forehead. One day, I signed him up for The X-factor ,his voice was divine. I never thought he was going to make it this far. Niall changed by the pressures of fame. Our relationship was different, we weren’t longer the carefree bunch of teenagers that we were back then.
I scrolled through my Google pictures dashboard and stopped when I saw a picture of a girl with brown hair and the ends of her hair were dyed dark blue. I turned my computer to Julian.
“Look, I think I’m going to dye my hair like that"
He looked up from his cell phone.
“No way," he said, shaking his head.
“Why not?"
“Because"
“Julian, you know well enough that that’s not a good reason. And besides, I’ve done it last year, but with pink. Remember?”
“It’s different now”
“Why?”
“When I go to some event, and you go with me and you arrive with that hairdo? People will think that you are…special …"
“What’s wrong with being special? I thought that’s what made us, us right?”
“Babe, there’s nothing wrong with that, but yeah, you understand what I mean. You can’t do it."
I stood up. “Don’t babe me!" I snapped and grabbed my bag.
“sab,"
“What Julian? Why do you care about what people think about me? If you are ashamed of me, I may as well lock myself in a room and never come out with you again!"
“Am I saying that?" He raises his voice.
I stared at my shoes.
“Sab, you know well enough that it would be weird to appear at a red carpet with some crazy hair color.”
“Well, I have a solution: you can go alone to that stupid red carpet!”
“dear, listen" He grabbed my arms.
“Let me go, jerk," I screamed and pushed him away.
“Calm down," he said, trying to hold me.
I took my bag and stormed out of his room. I heard his footsteps following me.
It was raining softly.
“Sabrina Angelina, come back," he cried.
“Fuck you Julian, fuck you and your stupid music" was the last thing I said to him.
"All this money can not buy me a time machine, It can not replace you with a million rings, I should have told you what you meant to me, ‘Cause now I paid the price."
If I could turn back time, oh god, then I would immediately do that. God knows how much I prayed, prayed that that night never happened, that everything was normal, that it was just a nightmare and that I was about to wake up in his arms. Or at least that I had the chance to say goodbye.
"Sabrina, I’ve now left 10 voicemails. I know well enough that you refuse my calls. Where are you? I’m driving around the city for the past 2 hours! Call me when you’re safe please, I’m worried to death. I love you."
"Hey Julian, it … I’m sorry. I’m home now. I’m so sorry, I exaggerated again. I’m freezing and my clothes are soaked, I’ve made hot chocolate and there is enough for us two. I’m sorry babe, I love you.”
I sighed. I had him called back 3 times already, still no answer.
An hour later, Julian didn’t call back.
I began to get nervous. Did something bad happened?
The bell rang. Excited I jumped from my bed and opened the door.
“Jul-Nicky? What are you doing here? “My facial expression changed from happy to worried right away.
Nicky eyes were red and he didn’t have the usual smile on his face.
“Sabrina," He swallowed, his voice sounded hoarse. “Julian is …" He could not finish the sentence, he burst into tears.
“What ? What’s wrong with Julian? "
My heart flipped over and my hands trembled like crazy.
“Nicky?"
“I’m sorry Sabrina," he whispered. He breathed deeply. “Julian got into a car accident. He drove too fast and slipped on a wet road and slammed … slammed against the barriers. He died…instantly”
I hit my hand over my mouth and shook my head.
“No, you’re lying. Tell me you are lying, Niall.. "
he looked at me and shook his head.
I fell on my knees and buried my face in my hands.
“Tell me this is just a nightmare. This can’t be true, no please. Please”
"In another life, I would make you stay. So I do not have to say, You were the One that got away. The One that got away. "
I still remember the day I first met him. His young face, although he was quite mature, the smile always on his lips, his soft black hair, his piercing brown eyes and his beautiful cheek. How he always was so talkative and his love for food. Everything about him was perfect. It was exactly 15 years ago. 15 years ago I met Julian, my one and only true love. And 13 years ago I lost him. We had a fight and I ran away. He drove around for hours in his car, looking for me. He was so sweet for me. He was to good for me. I didn’t deserve him. If I didn’t overacted like that, that terrible accident wouldn’t have happened..
I rubbed my thumb over the photo I held in my hand. It was a picture of me and Julian, one of my favorite pictures. My hair was still black on the photo and the way I dressed was all hipster like.
Now, I wore my hair in a tight dot and had my hair color is brunette. My clothes were professional and I was a housewife. Who would have thought that huh?
Yes, I was married. And I loved my husband. But deep down, deep deep down, I still loved Julian with whole my heart, with my whole body, with my entire soul. And I will never love my husband as I loved Julian.
People say that you move on. But I didn’t. I think of him every day, from when I wake up till I go to sleep. I will never forgive myself. I will live forever with that gnawing guilt that it was my fault. It was my fault. I wiped away a tear and took a deep breath.
I’m sorry Julian. I love you. Please, never forget that.
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